A Geek With Guns

People cause stupidity. Apparently thanks to GPS, cell phones, and other such gadgets people have been acting dumber when venturing into national parks. This is a cause of concern for the National Park Service but also a slight irritation to Charles Darwin’s ghost who has to deal with all this stupidity:

The national parks’ history is full of examples of misguided visitors petting bears, putting children on buffaloes for photos and dipping into geysers despite signs warning of scalding temperatures.

But today, as an ever more wired and interconnected public visits the parks in rising numbers — July was a record month for visitors at Yellowstone — rangers say that technology often figures into such mishaps.

People with cell phones call rangers from mountaintops to request refreshments or a guide; in Jackson Hole, Wyo., one lost hiker even asked for hot chocolate.

I have a solution for this little issue. If anybody uses their cell phone to call a park ranger in the hopes of getting a beverage delivered to them I say the rangers oblige by launching a barrage of artillery onto the caller’s location. Of course this will require buying artillery for the park rangers but I’m willing to donate money to a good cause.

“Because of having that electronic device, people have an expectation that they can do something stupid and be rescued,” said Jackie Skaggs, spokeswoman for Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming.

“Every once in a while we get a call from someone who has gone to the top of a peak, the weather has turned and they are confused about how to get down and they want someone to personally escort them,” Skaggs said. “The answer is that you are up there for the night.”

Damn right make them sit it out. Stupidity is meaningless without lessons being learned and people generally don’t learn when they get bailed out. Of course the rangers aren’t be Luddites:

The service acknowledges that the new technologies have benefits as well. They can and do save lives when calls come from people who really are in trouble.

Technology is a tool and like any tool can be used to enhance good and bad. Many people use it stupidly and end up driving into a lake because their GPS told them to. These people should be removed from the gene pool as soon as possible so I feel even in the hands of the stupid a GPS is ultimately being used for good.

You know what they say, a fool and his money are quickly departed. Take this example for instance. It’s an application that alerts you when there are lightening lightning strikes in your area and it only costs $5.99!

Of course the article also brings up the fact a whole 58 people are killed (on average) every year by lightening lightning. The population of the United States is 307,006,550 according to Google meaning .0000188921051% of the population of the United States are killed each year (on average) by lightening lightning.

With a risk that tiny who the Hell is going to buy a shitty $5.99 app?

EDIT 2010-08-18 22:02: Proof reading is important just remember that. And no matter how many times you use the closely spelled but completely incorrect word it doesn’t make it right. Thanks for pointing it out Linoge.

I have a quick tip for today. If you do something illegal don’t post about it on a damned forum. That is all.

How efficient of North Korea:

North Korea has promised a “physical response” to joint US-South Korean military exercises this weekend.

Yes that’s certainly a good idea. I’m sure the United States, who have been looking for practically any excuse to go to war with North Korea, and really shaking in their boots over this threat. Yup. No seriously can’t you tell how scared America is of the big and powerful North Korea?

I’m sure most of you have guessed I’m against the death penalty simply on the grounds that I don’t believe a government has the right to kill citizens outside of the defense of a human life (in other words the same rules that apply to the citizens apply to the government in my book). But if you’re going to execute somebody at least do it on the cheap.

At 0000 MDT Ronnie Lee Gardner was executed by .30 Winchester rifle round to the chest:

Four of the .30 calibre Winchester rifles were loaded with live bullets but a fifth carried a blank, so that none of the men would have known with certainty that he had shot a lethal round.

Gardner was asked if he had any final words and said: “I do not. No.”

He was hooded and strapped to a black metal chair, with a white target pinned to his chest.

Gardner was then shot at a range of 25ft (7.6m).

I have to say I don’t mind this method of execution if we’re going to do it. It’s cheap and effective. Lethal injection requires chemicals that I’m sure are fairly expensive, the electric chair isn’t always reliable, but good old bullets are cheap and reliable. Also this may go down at the best use of Twitter ever:

Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff used the Twitter micro-blogging site to say he had given the go-ahead for execution.

“May God grant him the mercy he denied his victims,” Mr Shurtleff tweeted.

That’s right his execution was Tweeted. I wonder if that’s a first.

I’m also not sure if I would call this an execution so much as natural selection:

He was convicted in 1985 of fatally shooting a lawyer during an attempt to escape from a court where he was facing another murder charge dating from 1984.

Real bright buddy. You’re up on murder charges so at the trail you shoot a lawyer and try to escape… from a courtroom most likely to guarded. You’re a smart one aren’t you. I guess I should say you’re were a smart one weren’t you.

But alas this method of execution was deemed too efficient and both in it’s ability to execute the target and in the small cost to the taxpayers:

Gardner, 49, chose the firing squad before Utah banned the method in 2004. Critics say it is barbaric, harking back to the Wild West.

Critics say death by firing squad is barbaric? Really? Wouldn’t it be better to say execution in general is barbaric? I mean between being electrocuted to death, injected with lethal chemicals, or shot I’d rather be shot. But the bottom line is killing somebody outside of self defense is a barbaric act. Changing the method of execution doesn’t all of the sudden make it all rainbows and unicorns.

Every Day, No Days Off informs us that some marketing people don’t think their clever ideas through all the way:

A marketing stunt to promote a video game sparked an armed police callout after an actor pointed a fake gun at terrified pubgoers in Auckland’s Viaduct Basin.

About 20 revellers drinking outside Degree bar dived for cover after the promotions worker threatened them with a black imitation pistol about 8pm on Friday.

I can’t quite put my finger on it but something seems wrong with that promotional idea.

Random Nuclear Strikes reminds us that guns are not toys:

Sheriff’s deputies have arrested a man who said he accidentally shot his girlfriend to death with a gun they used during foreplay.

May I suggest handcuffs next time?

I don’t have much to say other than this. If you’re a person looking for the “truth” about 9/11 maybe shooting up a heavily fortified command center isn’t the best way of going about it. I don’t think Rambo could successfully shoot that place up.

Here is a story implementing a really bad idea via Dvorak Uncensored. It appears as though police officers are going to stage break ins. Yes police officers are going to break into the homes of citizens to raise awareness of burglaries. I see all sorts of bad things coming from this. See people don’t take kindly to strange people breaking into their homes in the middle of the night. Often when a person encounters the stranger they decided to perforate that individuals with gun fire… oh wait this is happening in England. Yeah never mind, capital idea there Bobby.

Says Uncle brings us a story where the moral of the story is if you’re carrying make sure your noise maker is in a holster. Mitchum Patterson didn’t follow this precaution and suffered a negligent discharge. Worse yet he was illegally carrying the gun on school grounds which of course should be impossible since it’s a gun free zone. Here is the situation:

A Dallas Independent School District maintenance worker is recovering at Parkland Memorial Hospital after shooting himself with a gun he carried onto an elementary campus.

Here is how it happened:

Mitchum Patterson, 52, shot himself accidentally in his right thigh as he bent over inside a maintenance closet at Umphrey Lee Elementary School. The employee, who has worked at DISD for 14 years, had the loaded gun tucked in his pants.

Here is what he’s facing:

DISD police plan to charge Patterson, who has been suspended from his job, with a third degree felony once he is released from the hospital.

Patterson could face two to ten years in prison and a fine of up to $10,000 if convicted. However, judges have the right to give probation in some cases.

And to think that could be have been voided by a $10.00 Uncle Mike’s holster. But the absolute best quote in this article is:

“It was crazy because our kids are here,” said Laquecia Smith, a parent. “It’s supposed to be a gun-free zone. You see the signs up and down the street.”

Wait you mean those signs can’t actually enforce themselves? OH SHIT! WARNING! People CAN bring guns into gun free zones! How is this possible? THERE ARE SIGNS!