A Geek With Guns

The Republican Party has been running an ungodly number of debate this election season but they’ve all been mindless fluff. What really matters this election season isn’t the economy, the wars, or civil liberties, it’s whether you want a free pony or low rent:

This may be the most important debate in our lifetimes.

I’m sure you’ve heard about Newt Gingrich’s promise to have colonies established on the moon by 2020 if he’s elected president:

Newt Gingrich is promising to establish a permanent base on the moon by 2020 if he’s elected president.

Many people are just writing this off as kooky but they don’t understand the need. Newt wants to ensure we have what is necessary to fight the moon Nazis:

Newt Gingrich is the only candidate that will protect you and me from the return of the Third Reich.

If you visit any gun forums you’ll get your fill of herp and derp. Most of the time the signal to noise ratio is pretty high though so you over look it, not with the Discovery Channel Firearms Forum. From this forum I’ve learned a great many things. For example I learned there is a version of the Galil Rifle I had not previously known about:

I would love to see you guys work with a Galil, personally my favorite is the Galil SAR 7.62 caliber 50-round clip.

First of all the existence of a Galil that feeds from clips was entirely unknown to me. Second it sounds as though the clever creators of this Galil have somehow integrated the clip into the rifle. We also have a kid inquiring about dual wielding AR-10s:

duel ar 10s

the ar 10 is in 308 and to stop the spent shells from hitting the other gun should you use one left handed model on the left so the shells are ejected out eater side

I imagine the AR-10 must be much lighter than my LR308 because I can barely wield that heavy bastard one handed. I’ll have to keep watching that thread to more insider information on dual wielding AR-10s. Have you ever wondered what would happen if you shot a machine gun upside down? No? Well this guy has:

Ok here’s a weird question for everyone.Has anyone out there fired a fully auto gun upside down and if you did, did the barrel feel like it wanted rise up or pull down when it was butted up against your shoulder.Please let me know and have fun with it.I have a feeling that a lot of ammo is going to wasted on this question.

I have a feeling no ammunition will be wasted on that question because you’re going to be hard pressed to find somebody stupid enough to try it. At least I hope you’ll be hard pressed because a whole lot of stupid is involved in that idea. Another kid has an idea that must simply be patented; converting a .50 AE Desert Eagle into a .50 BMG Barret rifle:

I was wondering if you could make a pistol into a rifle.

Like a Dessert Eagle turning into something like a Barrett 50 Cal.

Or a Magnum or another kind of Large Cal. Revolver turning into a rifle.

I’d ask why but I don’t want to know. Have you ever found bullets boring? Did you stop a think, “God I wish my gun show ninja stars!” No? Well then you’re not this guy:

Well, were do i start.
I,ve had this idea for 17 year now.
Sort of a ballesta type rifle that shoots a ninja star. The ninja stars would be a six star type, in a magazine like if in a cd case. As the stars are “hurled” out, the come out spinning.
Now, there should be magazines of about ten or more stars in each. The magazine could be mounted on top and feed the weapon from above. Ive seen these stars with holes in the middle, so the rifle could “grab” the stars by the hole, move it towards the front, then the “pin” lowers, letting the star continue its course.
What do you guys think????

This guy has had this idea for 17 years? That means he has to be at least 17 years but more likely he’s notably older as cognitive capabilities don’t develop when we’re first born. Still if somebody is 17 years-old and still thinks this is a good idea then… well then it’s just sad.

I could go on but I think I’ve made my point. The derp is extremely strong with this forum and is bursting with comedy gold. You don’t even need to dig, just look at the surface and you’ll find stuff to laugh (or sigh) at! The absolute lack of proper spelling and grammar is also oddly funny and depressing at the same time.

I’m usually not much for memes but that sums up the debate between libertarianism and statism pretty succinctly. I found the image here.

It’s no secret that I’m a big Ron Paul supporter but I think I may have found a presidential candidate that would be even better. Vermin Supreme describes himself as a friendly fascist who will promise is constituents everything because he has no intention of ever delivering on those promises. He also advocates giving every American a pony, a plan nobody could refute in its wisdom and clarity:

When I read this story I couldn’t help but laugh:

Two accused shoplifters had their car broken into while they were attempting to steal from a supermarket, police said.

I wish this kind of thing happened more often. Also take a look at the mug shots of the shoplifters, that woman’s face is why you shouldn’t do meth kids.

This is quickly turning into one of my favorite memes:

I spent Saturday and Sunday fulfilling my Oakdale Gun Club membership requirements in the form of 18 hours of range service. On Sunday I may have overheard one of the most cringe-inducing conversations in my history as a shooter. The conversation was regarding one shooter’s AR-15:

Questions Guy: “Is that an AK-60?”

Me: I just sighed but honestly there is no foul in not knowing what a particular gun is.

AR-15 Owner: “No, it’s an M-14.”

Me: Ohjesuschristonapogostick.

It’s an entirely different thing when you down know what your own gun is. Before anybody asks, no the AR-15 owner did not sound like he was simply giving the other guy shit.

Many of the participants at the numerous occupations have been complaining about the recent increase in “moochers” taking food and donated goods meant of the occupiers. Rob Allen has presented a novel idea for dealing with this problem:

Since you have all the food necessary to feed the people, we can consider it a place where you store goods… I dunno, call it a ‘food bank’ or something. We know that because you have only a limited amount of food, you need to ensure that the food is distributed correctly. One way you could do this is issue vouchers for food with the condition that those who take food promise to bring more in later to replenish the stocks. Call this “a food loan”. Even the homeless people would have to agree to pay back their fair share of food. By doing so, your bank can ensure it always has enough food to feed everyone!

Finally, when you realize that there’s not enough food to go around, you can tell all the people holding ‘food credit’ that they need to pay up and when they complain that their degree in Domicile Avoidance hasn’t permitted them to obtain sustenance (you’re gonna love this part) you can forgive everyone’s food loans!!!!! Just like that!

Exactly.