A Geek With Guns

Do you have a thief problem? Well try asking the criminals nicely to stop stealing your stuff. Politely explain your situation and the consequences to living a life of crime.

Seriously it’s funny, click the link.

I love being a gunnie because we’re all sarcastic pricks. Borepatch points out a thread on AR15.com where an author made the following request:

For a book that I am writing, I am interested in meeting/interviewing people who cache weapons. To get a sense of who I am and where I come from, look at www.danbaum.com, and also see the August issue of Harper’s magazine, where I wrote a piece about concealed carry. If you’re interested in talking to me, please email danbaum@me.com. Thank you.

No I’m not taking the time to remove his e-mail address, I don’t protect the stupid. Of course he got the standard response which was ridicule and members digging up the author’s anti-gun background.

On MNGunTalk we have a fellow drop by with the following request:

hey there. I have been assigned a project for my social behaviors class that involves me examIning a subculture of modern day society. I figured what better subculture to study than that of the gun buff. What i need to find out is what draws people to your subculture, what esablishes leaders and influances power withing said subculture, and any flaws or drawbacks caused from being in this cultural group. So i guess what i need from you guys is your input on these questions. if you could help me out that would be great. at the end of the study this will all be compiled into a final research paper that i will turn in for a grade. thank you.

We’ve been giving him the standard response of sarcasm and correcting his atrocious spelling and grammar. This is why I love the gun community, everybody is a prick so I fit right in.

Via Robb Allen I bring you the best fucking headline ever.

Man if I had a conscious I’d be feeling bad for how hard I’m laughing right now.

A graphic has been going around as of late claiming to depict that iPhone users get more sex than Android and Blackberry users. Of course they don’t actually read the y-axis that is labeled “avg. number of sexual partners @ age 30.” Going by what that graph actually says iPhone users are whores while Android users are far more faithful to their significant others.

Game, set, match!

Style points are awarded to this man. Apparently a flight attendant got into a kerfuffle with a passenger. Instead of just taking it the attendant brought down a rain of profanity against the passenger and then concluded by pulling the emergency chute, sliding down the inflatable slide, and running from the airport. It is not known if the flight attendant first put on a top hate and a monocle before his brilliant exit.

It is reported that the attendant has been arrested, probably for being way too fucking awesome. As they say play big or go home.

What happens when those fuckwits at the Westboro Baptist “Church” protest a comic convention populated entirely by nerds? Some pretty funny shit! My favorites? The sign that says “Odin is God” and the guy cosplaying as Jesus holding a sign that says “God loves everybody.” This is why I’m proud to be a geek.

A hat tip to Random Nuclear Strikes for this hilarity.

At least that’s the only reason I could see for Darth Vader robbing a bank. Also why does Darth Vader need a gun?

So I hit up the BBC to see what’s going around in the world and I come across the best headline ever in the European section:

Scores of Russians have died in the past few weeks amid a heatwave – many drowning after drinking too much vodka.

That’s a headline I would expect on the Onion. Anyways without context that’s hilarious but with context it seems Russians are going swimming in lakes and rivers due to the heat but drowning because they’re actually too drunk to swim. Now that I think about it it’s funny even with context.

Read this article:

A drunk man who climbed into a crocodile enclosure in Australia and attempted to ride a 5m (16ft) long crocodile has survived his encounter.

The crocodile, called Fatso, bit the 36-year-old man’s leg, tearing chunks of flesh from him as he straddled the reptile.

Seriously where else in the world could a headline like that be made?

I’m still doing this from my phone so you’re not getting my usually long posts. But a post over on Bruce Schneier’s blog about “cyber warfare” had a rather interesting line in it:

Googling those names and terms — as well as “cyber Pearl Harbor,” “cyber Katrina,” and even “cyber Armageddon” — gives some idea how pervasive these memes are. Prefix “cyber” to something scary, and you end up with something really scary.

It’s true. For instance here is a list of good cyber threat terms that should be showing up anytime soon:

• cyber Alamo
• cyber World War II
• cyber ragnarok
• cyber apocalypse
• cyber zompocalypse
• cyber Vietnam policing action
• cyber end of the world

Yeah we can play the same game as the hype-mongers as well. Maybe the NSA should give me a job.