Archive for the ‘Wall of Fame Assholes’ Category
North Korea is Strict
Compared to North Korea the United Police States of America is in its infancy. With the recent death of their Scumbag Dear Leader the people of North Korea has been going into full out fake grief mode in the hopes of avoiding execution for not being fully loyal to the state. What does being fully loyal to the state entail in North Korea? Apparently not using a cell phone:
North Korea has warned that any of its citizens caught trying to defect to China or using mobile phones during the 100-day mourning period for Kim Jong-il will be branded as “war criminals” and punished accordingly.
The funny thing is that I didn’t even know North Korea had cell phones.
It Must Be Nice Being the State
I have to say it must be nice being the state. Not only do you get to make the rules but you also get to decide when you’ve broken those rules and if you’ve decided you did break those rules you can also choose what qualifies as just compensation for your victims:
Victims of a decades-old sterilisation programme in the US state of North Carolina are to receive $50,000 each in compensation.
I’ve mentioned this case before. Personally it’s downright disgusting to see the atrocities committed in this supposedly free country built upon equality for all.
Speaking of equality does this ruling mean we’re only subjected to paying $50,000 in compensation if we forcefully sterilize somebody? Hardly, there is one set of rules for us and one set for the state. Unfortunately the state gets to make both sets of rules.
Anti-Gunners Throwing a Hissy Fit
Will you look at that, the boys over at the Coalition to Promote the Creation of Disarmed Victims Stop Gun Violence (CSGV) are throwing a hissy fit because members of the pro-gun community decided to call them on their little propaganda campaign.
What I find more hilarious is the fact the author is “outing” several of the pro-gun bloggers by posting their real names and where they live. I’m not sure why the author does that because if it’s some kind of underhanded implication of a threat (“I know where you live and I’m watching you” kind of thing) it’s less than pathetic. I almost wish I would have posted a picture of myself holding a candle just so the author could have outed me… then again my name is the fucking URL so I guess there isn’t much to out.
You know what’s the funniest thing though? The links from the various gun blogs posting about this little hissy fit has probably increase CSGV’s blog traffic from one visitor a day to several hundred. Even when anti-gunners try to make us look like monsters we try to help them out a bit because we’re nice guys and gals like that.
What Could go Wrong
One of the only saving graces we as a country have in defending ourselves against Transportation Security Administration (TSA) personell is the fact they don’t have the power to arrest people. Lacking this power has made many TSA agents feel as though their penises are quite small forcing them into seeking arrest powers:
Worse, sometimes people get shouty or even—very occasionally—cross the line into assault when TSA workers are just doing their jobs. When that happens, “the passengers were allowed to board flights because TSA screeners are unable to arrest passengers who assault them.” All because of the finicky detail that “TSA cannot legally arrest or detain power under powers granted to it by the federal government,” and must instead “call local police situated in the airport.” So inconvenient.
In other words they want arrest powers to they don’t have to rely on the actual police before being total assholes. Did I mention TSA agents are pissed because they feel their job doesn’t offer property compensation for the stresses they deal with in sexually molesting air travelers:
Elk’s complaint is situated in the middle of a larger argument about the need for collective bargaining to improve the “often brutal working conditions” of TSA employees—which seem to consist of some male-female pay disparities, low pay overall, and low morale—but it’s not clear that arresting unruly passengers who are not otherwise a threat to national security is the sort of thing that would be on the table, should robust collective bargaining rights be granted.
I don’t know about those of you reading this but if my job involved sexually molesting everybody from toddlers to the elderly I’d have no morale whatsoever. It’s also funny that TSA thugs are complaining about the low pay when the job doesn’t even require any training or schooling equivalent to law enforcement. Those wishing to join the ranks of the airline Gestapo need only have a desire to be granted authority and a willingness to set aside any common decency. With meager requirements such as those it’s obvious the pay isn’t going to be anywhere near that of job that requires actual training and specialization not naturally had by most.
The TSA is lucky I’m not in charge because I would disband their entire organization and place every agent involved in sexually assaulting air travelers under arrest.
A Common Results When You Hire Thugs Instead of Peace Officers
Do people still refer to police officers at peace officers? I ask this question because the job of police officers seems to mimic that of a thug more ever day. Whenever I talk to people from my parent’s generation they often reminisces about the fact police officers used to be trustworthy people who literally attempted to keep the peace. Today the job of police officers appears to mirror that of a common thug, extort money from the populace (through fines) and use violence to ensure the King’s subjects do as they’re told. Needless to say with the transition from upholding peace to common thuggery means this story is not at all surprising to me:
A man tried to break into his neighbor’s home. When police officers arrived, he approached them, ignoring their commands to stop. The police used tasers, pepper spray and batons to wrestle the man to the ground, face down, then handcuff him behind his back. And while using physical force is the norm for an uncooperative suspect’s arrest, appearances do deceive.
The man, James Edward Wells, had just experienced a tonic-clonic seizure. In his post-seizure confusion, he mistook his neighbor’s house for his own and could not understand the officers’ orders. Shortly after the cops pinned him face down, Wells stopped breathing.
Emphasis mine, as always. What I find most appalling about this story is the fact the use of Tasers, pepper spray, and batons is considered a proper response when a person isn’t complying with the orders of a police officer. My understanding behind arming the police is allowing them to response to violence using similar levels of violence, not response to merely uncooperative persons with a fucking assault on their person.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s one thing to pin a potential burglar to the ground, handcuff him, and detain him for questioning. The problem comes from the fact a whole different world springs up when a lethal weapon (and let’s face it, Tasers are lethal weapons) is introduced into a situation where nobody’s life is currently being threatened. This entire situation would likely have been a nonissue had the officers responded with equivalent or a slightly higher level of force to which they were being subjected. Instead the state’s shock troops decided to go from zero to full retard in 0.8 seconds.
In the end the police should be held to the same standard everybody else is. That is to say if I couldn’t legally employ the use of force in a situation police officers shouldn’t be able to either.
A tip of the hat to my friend Vicky for sending me this story.
Rick Santorum Only Wants to Make White People’s Lives Better
Between demanding the Middle East be nuked and gays be rounded up and shipped to Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) camps I thought it would be difficult for Santorum to find the time to be even more of a dick. Apparently that man strives for perfection because also found time to hate on blacks:
Speaking to Republicans in Iowa on Monday, former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) said his administration would reform welfare to the point that it would offer no welfare at all.
After suggesting that an expansion of Medicare is really just a plot to make voters more “dependent” on Washington, Santorum added: ”I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.”
I guess he only wants to make white people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money. Of course Santorum, being a perfectionist, isn’t done until his foot is fully inserted into his mouth:
“I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn their money and provide for themselves and their families,” he added. “The best way to do that is to get the manufacturing sector of the economy rolling.”
Thankfully all the white people have jobs being government cronies on Wall Street and lobbyists in Washington D.C. so they’re set.
Just so we’re all on the same page let’s run through the Rick Santorum Plan for American Success:
- Nuke the Middle East
- Roundup the Gays and Put Them in FEMA Camps
- Put Blacks to Work in Factories
If this is the road to American success I don’t want to live here anymore.
The Hypocrisy is Almost Palpable
The hypocrisy of the White House is so thick I fear it may suffocate me. Yesterday the White House’s official Twitter account tweeted the following:
Happy Bill of Rights Day! The US continues to stand with citizens & governments around the world who empower free expression. #FreeToTweet
I don’t know where they get the nerve making a statement like that. While the White House put out tweets celebrating the birthday of the Bill of Rights the legislature was busy debating the Stop Online Piracy Act, a bill that will utterly destroy the First Amendment:
If the bill at issue, SOPA, were to become law, it would create a “blacklist” of websites that infringe on copyrights. Private companies who allege that a site is unlawfully publishing their copyrighted content could, with a judge’s signature, demand that ad networks and companies such as PayPal and Visa stop doing business with such sites. Internet service providers would need to prevent Americans from visiting them.
The Department of Justice is trying to cover up their little false flag operation that was started to further neuter the Second Amendment.
The White House has revoked their threat to veto the National Defense Authorization Act, which has language declaring the United States a battlefield in the war on terror and thus legalizing the indefinite detainment of American citizens without charges. To rub salt into the wound it was also made apparent that they only reason Obama first threatened a veto was because the bill’s language may have restricted his ability to wield such power. If passed this will effectively eliminate the Fourth, Firth, and Sixth Amendment.
The White House has no grounds to claim they support the Bill of Rights in any way.
Fuck Rich Santorum
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Rant mode engaged.
I could bold the following text, I could italicize it, I could even put it in 24 point font but nothing could emphasis the words well enough to express my feelings. Fuck Rick Santorum. Seriously, fuck him.
It’s no secret that I hold zero love for any of the Republican presidential candidates except Ron Paul. With the exception of Dr. Paul every moron in the race is a complete idiot devoid of any capacity for critical thought. Saying this I can also say they’re all better that Rick Santorum. Even crazy religious zealot Michelle Bachmann has moments where she makes some kind of sense.
Santorum’s entire police can be summed up as, kill all the brown people and gays. What a sanctimonious jackass. During last night’s debate he was practically jacking himself off because he got so excited about the prospect of bombing everybody in the Middle East, Central America, and South America. I’d be surprised if he didn’t orgasm on the spot when he started talking about bombing the fuck out of Iran, because what we really need right now with our eminent economic collapse, vast government corruption, and the ongoing destruction of civil liberties is another fucking war. Yeah, let’s do that.
Then you have his absolute hatred of homosexuals. He was ranting about how he would make it illegal for gays to marry and even ripped Romney apart for his unwillingness to do everything in his power to prevent gay marriage in Massachusetts. While I still have no fucking clue how the state every got involved in the concept of marriage in the first place I’m even more baffled by the fact that they get any say in defining marriage. Who cares if two people of the same sex want to get married? Who cares if one man wants to marry multiple women? Who cares if one woman wants to marry multiple men?
After listening to Santorum’s dumb ass ramble on about killing foreigners and hating on gays I’ve come up with an idea for a new reality television show. We sent Rick Santorum on a tour to gay bars throughout the Middle East. Before anybody brings it up, yes there are gay bars in the Middle Easy. There is a market and that market is being fulfilled whether openly or through the black market. Either way we sent him to these bars to converse with the locals and express his ideas an opinions and let hilarity ensure. I realize the length of this show will be short but that’s kind of the point.
Please Santorum, from the bottom of my heart, I urge you to drop out. Not just drop out of the president race but drop out of this country entirely. Just get the fuck out. We don’t need your war mongering homophobic ass here.
Fuck Rick Santorum.
Rant mode disengaged.
Imagine if They Let Women Vote
My head constantly reels at some of the stupidity I come across in the world. Case in point members of Saudi Arabia’s religious council have released a report claiming that lifting the prohibition against women driving would lead to horrible consequences:
Repealing a ban on women drivers in Saudi Arabia would result in ‘no more virgins’, the country’s religious council has warned.
A ‘scientific’ report claims relaxing the ban would also see more Saudis – both men and women – turn to homosexuality and pornography.
That’s right, allowing women to drive will lead to the extinction of virgins in their country and the spontaneous introduction of homosexuality. This is a huge problem in other countries that allow women to drive… I’m sorry I mistyped, there is no such problem in said countries. If this report is to be believed homosexuality only started to crop up after the invention of the automobile and the entire history of Greece (among many other nations) was entirely fictional. On top of that it also means there isn’t a single virgin anywhere in any country that allows women to drive.
Much of this seems to stem from simple misunderstandings:
In the report Professor Subhi described sitting in a coffee shop in an unnamed Arab state.
‘All the women were looking at me,’ he wrote. ‘One made a gesture that made it clear she was available… this is what happens when women are allowed to drive.’
The misunderstanding is quite obvious, many men from Saudi Arabia appear to believe that they’re hot shit and a gift from God to women everywhere. I know a few men like this and when they claim a woman is making it clear she is available it is very obvious no such fact exists. Perhaps somebody simply needs to deflate the egos of these narcissistic assholes and the country’s problems will be quickly alleviated.
Agents of the State Find Time to Harass Teenagers
With all the ills going on in the world it’s good to see members of the Kansas governor’s staff are finding time to tackle the really important issues:
“Just made mean comments at gov. brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot,” she wrote to her 60 followers who tuned in to her sporadic updates about the Twilight films and Justin Bieber. In fact, Sullivan hadn’t said a word to the governor during his brief speech, and she now says the Twitter comment was just an “inside joke” among her high schol friends who were also on the Youth in Government field trip and disagreed with Brownback’s politics.
But the humor was lost on members of Brownback’s staff, who found the tweet while scouring social media sites for his name and alerted Sullivan’s high school principal. The principal reprimanded Sullivan and demanded she write an apology to the governor.
There’s so much stupid in the second paragraph that it almost physically hurts. First of all how the hell are members of Brownback’s staff finding the time to browse through social media sites looking for the governor’s name? If staff members have enough time to do that they either need more work or the size of the staff needs to be reduced. Remember that the people of Kansas are footing Brownback’s bill to pay his staff so if he has any decency (which he probably doesn’t being he’s a politician) he’d ensure his staff was as efficiently sized as possible.
Next we have the concern of staff members contacting the kid’s principle. Her tweet said she made mean comments at the governor, not that she was planning on committing any act of violence upon the man. Just for fun and in case anybody from Brownback’s staff is reading this site I’d like to say that Governor Brownback is a huge steaming pile of shit. Granted I don’t know the man but if he feels sending staff members out to browse social media sites for mentions of his name is a good use of taxpayer dollars then he is a piece of shit in my book.
The third point of stupid is the audacity of the principle to demand the kid write a letter of apology. Nobody should be made to apologize for their opinion, especially when that opinion is about a public official. There is a pesky amendment in the Constitution that says something about people have the freedom of speech. While I understand schools are actually more akin to prisons it is still disgusting to see students having their supposedly Constitutionally guaranteed rights stripped without actually doing any wrong. Don’t even both giving me that line of bullshit about the Bill of Rights only applying to adults, nowhere in the Bill of Rights does it contain any disclaimer that it is meant to apply only to adults. It appears as though the kid is pretty smart I must say:
And while Sullivan’s tweet is still rude, Brownback’s staff response makes him look thin-skinned and unable to take a joke. “I can’t believe they would prioritize that over other issues they have going on now,” Sullivan says. “I can’t believe they take time out of their day to look at social media and Twitter for his name.”
Exactly. The people of Kansas should be up in arms just for the fact that they’re paying idiots to sit around and browse Twitter all day. Let me also commend the kid for sticking to her guns and ultimately deciding not to write an apology letter:
Sullivan, who now has more than 9,000 Twitter followers and has begun quoting Gandhi, says she hopes the principal will accept her decision not write an apology letter. She says the incident has been a “reality check” to her and her friends that their comments on social media sites are not anonymous nor consequence-free.
You should only apologize when it’s sincere, which means you should never write a letter of apology for speaking the truth or your opinion. Too many people believe that apologies must be issued whenever you hurt somebody’s feelings but truth be told this simply creates a society that ends up giving a bunch of insincere apologies for everything and also ingrains people with the idea that they can get away with anything so long as they issue a phony apology afterwards.
Since the heat was turned up Governor Brownback did finally issue an apology of his own:
“My staff over-reacted to this tweet, and for that I apologize. Freedom of speech is among our most treasured freedoms. I enjoyed speaking to the more than 100 students who participated in the Youth in Government Program at the Kansas Capitol. They are our future. I also want to thank the thousands of Kansas educators who remind us daily of our liberties, as well as the values of civility and decorum. Again, I apologize for our over-reaction”
How about you apologize to the people of Kansas for wasting their money by paying people to sit and browse the Internet?
