You know what’s a great feeling? Grinding your opponent to dust in a friendly competition. Well being this is no longer the awesome country founded on competition it once was that’s no longer the politically correct feeling to have. See winning can hurt your opponent’s feelings and we can’t have that. To that end a soccer league in Ottawa has established a rule; if your team wins by more than five points you automatically lose. Wait what?
Yes that’s right if your team scores six points more than the other team has you automatically lose. This is because a crushing defeat can really hurt a child’s feelings and thus prepare him for the real world where nobody is going to give two wooden nickles about his or her feelings.
This sissification of the next generation is sickening. The weight we’re putting on peoples’ feelings is getting out of hand. I’d like to bring up reality for a second. There are two types of people in a competition, winners and losers. By definition one side of a competition must lose and one must win. If this basic criteria is no met it’s not a competition anymore. Just wait until these kids grow up and realize that they could be yelled at or even fired if they fuck up on the job.