Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

North Sentinel island is famous for one thing. One fucking thing. That thing is a tribe of people who immediately try to murder any outsider who sets foot on their little piece of land. If that’s not enough to dissuade you from going there, then you deserve whatever happens to you:

Fishermen who took the man to North Sentinel island say tribespeople shot him with arrows and left his body on the beach.

Local media say he was a missionary. He has been identified as John Allen Chau.

He should have went and played in an active volcano instead. His odds of survival would have probably been better.

If at First You Don’t Succeed

You know what they say, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again. But then again sometimes it’s smart to quite while you’re ahead, which is what this dude should have done:

Beaudoin broke a door lock and entered a home about 5:20 a.m. in the 4200 block of Hwy. 53. Homeowner Neil Reller grabbed a shotgun and struggled with Beaudoin, striking the intruder on the head several times with the gun so hard that the stock broke off the weapon.

Were I hit in the face with a shotgun stock so hard that it broke the stock I think I would have called it a night. Mr. Beaudoin was obviously a more determined man than I:

Beaudoin, his face covered in blood, fled in his vehicle about 8 miles to the southeast and showed up at the Himes’ home in the 5700 block of Hwy. 53. He told Ethel Himes that he had been assaulted. When Himes let Beaudoin inside, he threw her onto the living-room floor, choked her and beat her head on the floor.

Brad Himes came upon the struggle and went to his bedroom for a handgun. Beaudoin followed the son and lunged at him, prompting Brad Himes to shoot the intruder.

A sheriff’s deputy gave first aid to Beaudoin, who died at Rainy Lake Medical Center.

See what I mean? Sometimes it’s a better idea to just say “Fuck it.” and give up. While I’m sure Mr. Beaudoin thought he clever plan of claiming he was assaulted was fool proof it’s never a good idea to get into a physical confrontation after recently getting your ass severely kicked. This is especially true when getting shot is a realistic outcome, which is always the case when invading a home.

Sometimes Justice Gets Served

With rampant rate of puppycide being committed by police officers in this country it’s nice to see that once in a while karma appears to serve some sweet justice:

BLOOMFIELD, N.J. (AP) – Authorities say a northern New Jersey police officer accidentally shot himself when a dog apparently attacked him.

The history of police officers shooting dogs leads me to take the claim that the dog was attacking with a grain of salt. But even if it was attacking this is still a sweet story because, due to their behavior, police officers should be viewed by dogs as a threat to their life.

Rocket Scientist of the Year

There are bad ideas and there is raw utter stupidity. This story is an example of the latter:

According to reports, 26-year-old Brian C. Wayner rented a gun from Don’s Gun and used it at the attached shooting range, burning through three boxes of ammo. Then, Wayner went to the restroom to wash his hands before heading to the counter to ring up the total. Bizarrely, without giving any warning or saying anything, Wayner pulled out the gun that he had rented and opened fire on Ben Chance, the clerk behind the cash register.

Chance did pretty much exactly what you would expect a gun store employee to do: he fired back. Chance proved to be the better shot, though, because the wounds he inflicted ultimately proved fatal for Wayner. Chance was later rushed to a hospital where he was placed in critical condition, but he survived treatment and is currently recovering.

Attempting to shoot up a gun store is right up there with attempting to bungee jump without a bungee cable attached to your person. On the upside Mr. Wayner won’t try that again.

The Inevitable Outcome of Attempting to Rob a Gun Store

In general gun stores are heavily armed and the owners rarely tolerate shenanigans like trying to drive a car through their storefront:

One man is dead and two are recovering after being shot by a gun store owner during a burglary of his business Thursday morning.

Stephen Bayazes Jr., 57, told officers that he and his wife were asleep in an apartment at the back of the business, Guns & Ammo Gunsmith, 522 Edgefield Road, shortly before 4 a.m. when he awoke after hearing a loud crash and the activation of a silent alarm.

Bayazes grabbed an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle and found three men loading guns into a van that had crashed through the side wall of the store.

After hearing the men yell to kill him, Bayazes shot one 30-round magazine of .223-caliber bullets before retreating to his bedroom to reload, he later told officers.

Obviously these criminals were rocket scientists. This story also answers the gun control advocate’s question regarding the need for AR-15s. Sometimes you have a group of criminals who drive their van through your storefront and having semi-automatic rifle is pretty useful.

The State’s Solution to Everything

The state has a hammer so it sees every problem as a nail. For example if they state is trying to prevent the demise of a species of bird they inevitably look for something that can be killed and label it as the problem:

To save the imperiled spotted owl, the Obama administration is moving forward with a controversial plan to shoot barred owls, a rival bird that has shoved its smaller cousin aside.


The plan to kill barred owls would not be the first time the federal government has authorized killing of one species to help another. California sea lions that feast on threatened salmon in the Columbia River have been killed in recent years after efforts to chase them away or scare them failed.


Just how many barred owls would be killed and where remains undecided, although officials said hundreds of birds are likely to be killed with shotguns.

This post isn’t so much about environmentalism as it is about the fact that states only know how to wield violence to solve perceived problems. They have decided that the dwindling population of spotted owls is a major problem meaning there must be something that can be killed in order to help the population recover.

Whether the problem be drugs, poor foreign relations, or endangered animals the only solution is to wield violence until the problem goes away.

Where’s Darwin When You Need Him

Why is it when we need the ghost of Charles Darwin the most it’s nowhere to be found:

Getting lost in a corn maze is supposed to be fun.

But it turned into a nightmare for a Massachusetts couple who got so lost that they had to be rescued by the police.

It all started late Monday afternoon, when the couple entered a corn maze at Connors Farm in Danvers, Mass., about 23 miles north of Boston.

After about an hour in the maze, darkness began to fall. The couple, who were there with their 3-week-old baby, were unable to find a way out. As the mosquitoes started to descend, they placed a desperate call to 911 asking to be rescued.

The Danvers police released audio of the call.

Here’s an edited transcript:

Woman in tears: Hi, I just called. I’m still stuck at Connors Farms. I don’t see anybody. I’m really scared. It’s really dark and we’ve got a 3-week-old.

Police officer: Your husband is with you?

Woman: Yes. But my baby…

Police officer: A police officer is on the way. Can you put your husband on the phone?

Husband: I see lights over there at the place, but we can’t get there, we’re smack right in the middle of the corn field.

Woman: I don’t know what made us do this, it was daytime when we came in, we thought if we came in someone would come in and find us… We can hear [the police officers]… Oh, my goodness. The mosquitoes are eating us alive, and I never took my daughter out, this is the first time. Never again.

Woman: This is embarrassing.

The family was lost in a corn maze so they decided to call 911… how fucking stupid can somebody be? I’m actually shocked that this lady remember to breathe. Just stop and think about this for a moment, between the woman and her husband the couple didn’t have enough brain cells between the two of them to determine the best way out of the corn maze would have been to pick a direction and start walking straight. Corn isn’t concrete, it doesn’t form a solid barrier you are unable to pass through.

An Important Lesson in Gun Safety

If you’re going to carry a gun you need to do it right. What does doing right involve? Well as The Firearm Blog points out one of the first things you should do is get a holster, not doing so may lead to unintended side effects:

As Joshua Seto, 27, and his fiance, Cara Christopher, walked to a local grocery store last week for refreshments, he tried securing her pink handgun in the front waistband of his pants.

The gun fired, striking Seto’s penis and continuing through his left thigh. The bleeding started immediately and was heavy, according to police dispatch recordings released Sunday.

I’m not a fan of carrying a firearm in the front of my pants as there is very important equipment there. Should some freak scenario unfold the resulted in my firearm discharging I’d rather not have it discharge into my junk. But that’s a personal preferences, so long as the bang switch is properly covered the risk of a negligent discharge is negligible. Even one of those cheap Uncle Mike holsters should have likely saved this man a lot of pain and agony.

Remember, firearms are weapons meant to cause damage to anything covered by the muzzle. Like any weapon firearms must be handled safety and with the utmost respect.

Stupidity and Firearms Never Mix

Update: 2013-02-20: 11:26: The story, as originally presented, was not accurate. As it turns out, as with most cases, the situation was far from black and white. According to the court ruling [PDF]:

Velure said that when they returned to Kurer’s apartment, Kurer went back into his bedroom and lay on the bed. Velure observed a Taurus Judge multicaliber handgun lying on the box spring area outside the mattress. He observed that the cylinder of the Taurus Judge was loaded with three .410 shotgun rounds and three .454 handgun rounds.

Kurer got out of bed and went into the living room, where he lay down on a short couch. Velure said that he followed, taking with him the Taurus Judge handgun. Velure said that he attempted to talk Kurer into going uptown with him, but Kurer was reluctant to do so.

According to Velure, he then made some comment, something to the effect of that he is going to squeeze the trigger if Kurer did not go with him. In reply to this Kurer had made the statement, something to the effect of, go ahead. Velure had told officers how just prior to the to this particular conversation with Kurer he had opened the cylinder on the Taurus handgun and had dumped what he thought were all six rounds into this hand and then placed all six rounds into his cargo short pants that he had been wearing. He then had utilized his right hand only and had flipped the weapon, causing the cylinder on the weapon to close. He was made the assumption that all of the rounds that had been in the handgun had been removed from the cylinder and had been placed by himself into his own short pockets. Assuming the weapon was empty, he then pointed the handgun at Kurer. At the time he was about one to two feet away from Kurer. With the weapon in his right hand he had engaged the trigger on the firearm. No explosion occurred. Kurer was still lying on the shorter couch at the time and was lying on his back. Velure continued to stand over the top of him more towards the area of his feet and continued to have his right arm extended, having the handgun in his right hand. Some comment had been made about not going uptown, at which time Velure again engaged the trigger on the handgun and this time there was an explosion as the handgun fired a round that had been left in one of his cylinders. Velure did tell officers that he had observed the wound to Kurer’s chest. He saw what he described as being pellet holes and knew that it was a .410 round that had fired, striking Kurer. Velure said he then applied first aid.

Originally the story said that both individuals had been pointing, what they assumed to be, empty guns at one another. As it turns out Velure was the only person with a firearm and had, according to him, assumed it was empty. Velure did mentioned that he and Kurer had pointed empty guns at each other in the past but that information is hearsay and irrelevant to the actual murder as Velure’s own statement indicated that he was the only one in possession of a firearm at the time. In the end this story is a demonstration of the importance of the four rules of firearm safety.

Below is the original post I wrote for historical purposes.

There are four simple rules to follow in regards to firearm safety:

  1. All guns are always loaded.
  2. Never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy.
  3. Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on the target.
  4. Be sure of your target and what is beyond it.

If you follow all of these rules you’ll never encounter a negligent discharge and two of these rules must be broken for somebody to get hurt. On the other hand if you violate those rules bad this happens as demonstrated by this article:

Twenty-four-year-old Joshua Kurer was hit in the chest Monday night and later died. Twenty-six-year-old Anthony Velure was charged Wednesday with first-degree reckless homicide in St. Croix (KROY) County. Velure told police he didn’t mean to harm his friend and that he assumed the gun was empty.

You never assume a gun is unloaded, that violates rule one. You never let the muzzle cover anything you’re not willing to destroy so rule two was violated. I would talk about rules three and four being violated but after reading the following I believe the man was sure of his target and may have even kept his finger off of the trigger until his sights were on that intended target:

The Eau Claire Leader-Telegram says Velure told police he and Kurer had aimed guns at each other and pulled the trigger at least a half dozen times in the past.

There are two lessons to learn from this; firearms are not toys and Darwin will catch up to you eventually. A firearm is a deadly weapon and should be respected as such.

If You’re Going to Commit a Crime Keep it Quiet

If you’re going to be one of those blokes who goes out and commits a crime it would probably be smart to avoid bragging about it. What would be really stupid is going on television and bragging about your capers which was the mistake made by a French hacker who is now in custody:

A French hacker has effectually tied a noose around his own neck when he bragged about hacking into the systems of a big government contractor on national TV.

He participated in a France 2 television program called “Complément d’enquête” (Further investigation), and he said – and demonstrated – that he has gained access to computers belonging to the French Army and Thales Group, a French company that provides information systems and services for the aerospace, defense, and security markets.

What I said goes double if your crime is against the government or its military. Doing crime is the government’s job and they don’t like competition.