A Geek With Guns

Chronicling the depravities of the State.

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

If You’re Going to Go, Go All Out

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White smoke signals that the gender has been revealed.

Black smoke signals that the gender has not been revealed.

An off-duty border patrol agent wanted an explosive gender reveal party for his family and friends, but he ended up igniting a wildfire that spread to Coronado National Forest in Arizona.

Dennis Dickey, 37, of Tucson, Arizona, has to pay more than $8 million in restitution, starting with a $100,000 initial payment and monthly payments thereafter, the Department of Justice said in a statement.

Written by Christopher Burg

October 3rd, 2018 at 10:30 am

Have You Registered

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Written by Christopher Burg

September 25th, 2018 at 11:30 am

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Fucking Parasite

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A somewhat esoteric laugh courtesy of Egoistball.

Written by Christopher Burg

September 11th, 2018 at 10:00 am

All the Conveniences of Vegas

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What do you do if you’re a Catholic who hasn’t been to confession in a while but need to get your sins absolved before the Pope’s scheduled visit? You head over to the drive-through confessional:

Now, with Pope Francis scheduled to visit Ireland this weekend, a different kind of massive structure has been built to welcome him: a drive-through confessional close to the same park, where Francis will celebrate Mass this weekend.

And here I thought that the religious conveniences of Vegas stopped at drive-through wedding chapels!

Written by Christopher Burg

August 23rd, 2018 at 10:00 am

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The Last Time the United States and Russia Were Friendly

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A lot of Democrats are furious that the United States and Russia may be becoming friendlier towards each other. I prefer peace over war so my initial reaction to any prospect of peace is usually positive. However, after giving it some thought, I can see why people are angry at the prospect of the United States and Russia developing a friendship.

Every time the two countries have become friends in the last 100 years millions of Jews died and two Japanese cities were nuked.

Written by Christopher Burg

July 18th, 2018 at 11:00 am

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One in Ten

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I’m a fan of Roman historical memes, especially ones that are somewhat clever:

Written by Christopher Burg

April 18th, 2018 at 10:00 am

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Is There No Low to Which the Republicans Won’t Sink

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First the Republicans threw grandma off of a cliff. Now they’re running people down with trains:

A train carrying Republican lawmakers to a retreat hit a lorry on the track in Virginia, killing the driver of the truck, says the White House.

Six people were injured, including another truck passenger who was airlifted out with critical injures.

Is there now low to which the Republicans won’t sink?

Written by Christopher Burg

February 1st, 2018 at 10:00 am

Check Your Fire

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Whoops:

Making an arrest can be challenging for law enforcement officers, even bordering on chaotic at times. During an attempt to arrest a suspect, one police officer misjudged the destination of the taser prongs and, instead of just hitting the suspect, ends up firing a prong into his partner. During the tasing, the officer fell, hitting his head against the pavement.

To the officer’s credit, he did hit the armed criminal.

Written by Christopher Burg

December 1st, 2017 at 10:30 am

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Professionalism

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Once in a while the War on Drugs brings us humor instead of tragedy:

Sources say it started when two special ops officers from the 12th Precinct were operating a “push off” on Andover near Seven Mile. That is when two undercover officers pretend to be dope dealers, waiting for eager customers to approach, and then arrest potential buyers and seize their vehicles.

But this time, instead of customers, special ops officers from the 11th Precinct showed up. Not realizing they were fellow officers, they ordered the other undercover officers to the ground.

FOX 2 is told the rest of the special ops team from the 12th Precinct showed up, and officers began raiding a house in the 19300 block of Andover. But instead of fighting crime, officers from both precincts began fighting with each other.

Sources say guns were drawn and punches were thrown while the homeowner stood and watched.

I’m glad to see the officers were fighting with the actual criminals for once.

Written by Christopher Burg

November 16th, 2017 at 10:00 am

First World Problems

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A friend of mine posted the following picture on Facebook:

It really does illustrate a first world problem. Between the militias, III%ers, Neo-Nazis, Antifa, and a handful of other groups there are a lot of Americans who want to be militants. However many (if not most) of these individuals have enjoyed an overabundance of food and a luxurious lifestyle that has allowed them to avoid physical labor so they’re too obese to fight anybody besides other obese Americans.

Written by Christopher Burg

October 31st, 2017 at 11:00 am