Sometimes I read the Red Star because I find the letters to the editors hilarious. You really get a good feel for some of the people who read that particular newspaper. One thing I’ve noticed about the average submitter to the Red Star is their complete reliance on the government for everything. Case in point I present the following letter. The main part I find hilarious is the following:
On Sunday, the Star Tribune reported on the possibility that the new Republican-controlled state Legislature may renege on its local government aid to cities across Minnesota (“Twin Cities’ budgets built on house of cards,” Nov. 14).
If that happens, how long will a fallen tree lay there blocking the street in the next big storm?
This may come as a shock to Mrs. Ellsworth but you can actually do things yourself. Let me explains a government free way of moving a fallen tress. First you need a neighbor who is awesome and owns a chainsaw (not one of those pussy electric ones but a manly gas guzzling tree destroyer). If you lack any neighbors who own a chainsaw then you live in a shitty neighborhood and should correct the problem by purchasing one for yourself.
Once a chainsaw has been obtained the tree can be cut into smaller pieces. This follows the golden rule of computer programming; all problems can be broken down into small and manageable pieces. Once said tree has been cut into small pieces it can be moved out of the way. Through the use of team work in the community a downed tree can be easily removed by the people living in the area. What a concept! Shit it’s almost as if we don’t actually need government to get us through our everyday lives.
So to answer the author’s question the tree will remain there until the local community deals with it. If you’re all too lazy to deal with it that’s your own damned problem.