Transformers 3

I finally got around to seeing Transformers 3 and have to say the beginning of the movie had me worried but the ending was fucking awesome. Obviously there are going to be some spoilers in this post so if you’re not watched it yet and don’t want minor points of the story ruined stop reading now.

As with the previous two Transformers movies the weakness in this one is the fact that the human characters are given too much screen time. I don’t think Michael Bay understands the fact that people don’t go to a Transformers movie to watch humans do thing, they go to watch giant transforming robots do things. The movie also took a bit of time to jack-off Obama. Whatever, I like to think of how he likely ran and cowered in some shelter when Megatron decided he had enough of the human’s shit for a while and started his killing spree again.

Thankfully, things improve greatly once the actual story beings to move along. The Decepticons go balls out in trying to take over the world which is pretty typical Transformers stuff. I do appreciate the part where Megatron blasts the Lincoln Memorial because that man was a tyrannical asshole who didn’t give two shits about freeing the slaves. In all honesty I have more respect for Megatron because he’s a tyrannical asshole but he’s honest about it.

The movie gets very good right around the time the Decepticons take over and blow the shit out of Chicago. After all of the destruction I must say Chicago looked better then it currently does.

Obviously, being a Michael Bay movie, lots of shit is blown up. That’s why I feel Michael Bay is the perfect directory for the Transformers movies, he knows very little about plot and story but he can blow the living shit out of anything which is what Transformers is honestly all about (if you’ve watched the original cartoons you know story was entirely second nature). Transformers 3 has a slightly more involved story than the other two but it still can be summed up as Decepticons trying to take over the world for some evil purpose and the Autobots stop them.

If you’ve enjoyed the previous two Transformers movies you’ll enjoy this one. Cinema snobs need not apply, this movie simply isn’t for you. The characters are fairly one dimensional, the story is bare bones, and every dollar was poured into special effects. On the other hand if you’re like me and enjoy mindless action films that feature completely implausible characters and story lines you’ll enjoy this film.