Making Minneapolis a Better Place by Stealing Bicycles

Do you know what a noble cause is? Speaking out against unjust wars. Of course if you do this in Minneapolis while one of the “ambassadors” of the Minneapolis Downtown Improvement District (DID) are around you’ll likely have your bike stolen:

They’re private employees working for a non-profit, Minneapolis Downtown Improvement District, and their job is to help make downtown “cleaner, safer, greener and better in order to achieve a more vital and vibrant downtown.” They’re called “ambassadors,” and according to DID are supposed to be the “friendly faces” of the city.

But you wouldn’t know it from watching a video of two DID “ambassadors” harassing an anti-war protestor who was chalking the sidewalk in front of the FBI building on Friday night. The ambassador came up and snatched her bike, claiming it had been “abandoned,” threatened her for “defacing public property,” and said he could have her arrested for cursing.

Isn’t it interesting when somebody decides they now have the state’s power to steal property from private individuals? Here, watch some thievery in action:

My favorite part is when the “ambassador” claimed that he could have Melissa Hill (the owners of the bike) arrested for cursing. Guess what? If somebody could be arrested for cursing I’d be in jail right fucking now. On the upside this idiot was at least stripped of his fancy title of “ambassador” even though he may keep his job with the hiring company:

Apparently the employee gave the bike back to her after the video was taken — but the damage to his career was done.

DID Chief Operating Officer Sarah Harris complained to Block by Block, a Kentucky vendor that technically employed the “ambassador,” and he has since been stripped of his yellow jacket. It is unclear if he will continue to work for Block by Block.

So remember when you’re in Minneapolis you may have your property stolen by the person that are tasked with making you feel welcome. This is one of the reasons why I rarely venture into that forsaken city.