Social Conservative Argues Why Social Conservatives Should Support Prison Abolition

Within social conservative circles there is a man championed as a hero of the movement. That man is Dr. Ben Carson. While Caron’s credentials as a medical professional are impressive his politics aren’t. However he did, albeit unintentional, make an argument for why social conservatives should climb down from their tough on crime pedestal and join us[*] proles in the prison abolition movement:

Dr. Ben Carson, the conservative activist who is considering a run for president in 2016, said Wednesday that he could prove that being gay is a choice since people “go into prison straight and when they come out, they’re gay.”

Appearing on CNN’s “New Day,” he said that people “absolutely” had a choice over their sexuality. Anchor Chris Cuomo then asked him why he thought that.

“Because a lot of people go into prison straight and when they come out, they’re gay,” Carson said. “So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question.”

If there’s one thing social conservatives hate more than people who violate the arbitrary decrees issued by the state it’s homosexuals. Therefore, if as Carson claims, homosexuality is a choice and prisons create homosexuals then, to remain ideologically consistent, social conservatives should support prison abolition as a means of fighting homosexuality.

This does put social conservatives in a tough spot. Either they must admit their tough on crime attitude is breeding homosexuals or they must admit that Carson isn’t the ideological intellectual they hold him up to be. Whichever path they choose to follow I will certainly derive a great deal of amusement from it.

* Just kidding, guys. We don’t want you.