As with any religious cult, the clergy of the state are always coming up with new ways to ensure that their flock are attending worship services. One of the most common tactics religious cults use to ensure worshipers attend services is peer pressure. When one cultist notices that another was absent from service, they will often “check-in” on them. To make this easier, the clergy of the state have made service attendance records publicly available. Some innovative worshipers decided to tie the publicly available attendance records to an app to make it easier for worshipers to chide their fellows who fail to attend services:
It’s easy enough to say you’re going to the polls, but nobody is really tracking whether you cast your ballot — until now. Two new political apps, VoteWithMe and OutVote, will help you see if your friends voted and what their party affiliations are. Both apps were designed to help you encourage your friends and family to vote in the upcoming midterm election, as first reported by The New York Times.
How your friends voted in previous elections remains secret, but their voting histories are not. The two apps take information from public government records and make it more easily accessible. Now, instead of having to look up each of your friends to see if they’ve voted, you only need to sync your phone contacts.
I, of course, will be labeled by an infidel by these apps, which is fine by me.
In addition to streamlining peer pressure, these apps will also streamline the upcoming ideological purge by making party affiliation publicly available. No longer will you have to wonder whether your fellow cultist voted the right way. If they’re affiliated with the wrong sect, you can demonstrate your devotion to your sect through some good old fashioned propaganda of the deed!
One thought on “Ensuring Your Fellow Cultists Attend Worship Services”
You don’t have to declare a party affiliation when you register to vote in my state, unlike a neighboring state. I’m glad about that. I can grab whatever ballot I want at a primary.
Earlier this year, I got something from some group giving me my voting grade that listed which elections I had voted in. I’m assuming it was some leftist group, but I didn’t look them up.
I enjoy your blog. And congrats on your recent nuptials!
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