AT&T. Because You Suck and We Hate You

It’s no small secret that the new iPhone was announced today. And taking a title from the famous “HK. Because You Suck and We Hate You” I present for your reading pleasure (unless you have an iPhone and are on AT&T) AT&T. Because You Suck and We Hate You.

First off let’s talk features. The new iPhone OS 3.0 will have two new features. These are tethering and multimedia messaging (MMS).

Tethering for those who don’t know is when you connect your phone to your computer and use the data plan on the phone as a network connection on your computer. I use it all the time on my Palm Treo 755p when I’m out and about (mostly because I don’t trust any network I don’t fully control but at least with being consistent and using Sprint’s I have a single point of attack instead of any random network). Well iPhone OS 3.0 now has this feature, and anybody with an iPhone can use it. Well that’s of course unless you’re in the United States and most probably on AT&T’s network…

Now from the same article let’s talk MMS. It’s more or less a stupid feature in my book. Think of it as enhanced text messaging. Instead of just text MMS allows you to send small pictures and video through your phone. Well iPhone OS 3.0 finally has this feature but alas if you are on AT&T it will be a while until you get it. But what’s a little wait huh? It’s not like this is a feature that’s been on every phone on the planet since the ’90’s, oh wait it is.

Finally AT&T being the bastions of super dickery they are have announced pricing…

With most cellular phone carriers if you buy a phone you get a discount at the cost of having to sign a two year contract. Once this contract is up you often are offered a discount on a new phone for signing another two year contract. If you don’t opt for this then you are free to go from month to month with the ability to quit your business deal with your carrier at any time.

AT&T has decided that if you are not currently eligible for a new phone you will have to pay full price. Nothing unusual about that really, I paid full price for my current Palm Treo 755p. The difference is when I pay the full unsubsidized price with Sprint I don’t have to sign a new two year agreement. Well even though people may have to pay full price for a new iPhone they will also get the pleasure of being locked into a new two year agreement. That’s right you get struck twice with AT&T. You have to pay full price for the phone AND sign a new two year contract.

As you can see AT&T thinks you suck. After all they are giving your the privilege of owning an iPhone and using their network. And since the iPhone can’t be used on any other network (without some hackery) in the United States you are stuck with them if you want that iPhone.

As much bad mouthing that people give Sprint I think AT&T are far worse.