New Source of Clean Energy Found

A new discovery in the field of clean energy has been found today. It comes from the newly discovered universal constant. Much like E = mc2 the new constant states R = cit where ‘R’ is the amount of rage in the universe, ‘c’ is Christopher Burg, and ‘i’ is the lack of Internet connectivity at the home of ‘c’, and ‘t’ is the amount of time in seconds. As scientists have found the longer ‘c’ goes without ‘i’ the more rage exponentially increases in the universe. If harnessed this rage could be an every increasing clean energy source.

Scientist are currently looking at ways of harnessing this power safely. Unfortunately this is where a roadblock has been encountered. It seems a side effect has also been discovered as ‘t’ increases the danger of ‘c’ also increases exponentially. ‘R’ appears to become less and less directed as ‘t’ increases leading ‘c’ to lash out at more and more things. The last scientist who attempted to enter the residence of ‘c’ was mauled by a velociraptor. Although the velociraptor has been extinct for 65 million years it appears with enough ‘R’ they can be conjured back into existence and sent to attack unsuspecting scientists.

Time is ticking. Scientists have learned that ‘t’ will continue increasing for roughly another week before being reset to 1. The amount of damage that could occur if ‘c’ is not safely contained is as-of-yet unknown but best estimates put the destructive power to roughly that of the angry wrath of Thor combined with the angry wrath of Odin. Scientists are urging people to remain calm during this potential crisis.

One thought on “New Source of Clean Energy Found”

  1. Some range time – ‘g’ – may be required to reduce and contain the amount of ‘R’.

    R = ci^t – g

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