I Can’t Tell You How Many Times I’ve Wanted to Do This

Just read the first paragraph of this article:

A Salt Lake City mortgage company employee allegedly got drunk, opened fired on his firm’s computer server with a .45-caliber automatic, and then told police someone had stolen his gun and caused the damage.

Minus the getting drunk and accusing somebody stole my gun this paragraph really describes one of my dreams, shooting a server. Of course I wouldn’t lie about what happened unlike this drunkard mentioned in the story:

A probable cause statement alleges that Campbell told police he had been “mugged, assaulted with his own firearm and drugged” by a mystery assailant.

Yeah because that’s certainly a believable story. Pro tip here, if you’re going to make up a story in an attempt to lie to the police make it a believable one. Better yet don’t have a gun one you while you’re drunk.