I’m a Scientific Anomaly

When I was a teenager I listened to heavy metal, played violent video games, watched violent movies, owned firearms, and spent large amounts of time talking to people on the Internet. According to all of the studies that keep floating around I should be a violent antisocial psychopath who shoots other people. Well now it appears I should also be depressed and suicidal:

TEENS listening to head-banging heavy metal music are at risk of depression and suicide, a study reveals.

The Melbourne University paper says early intervention at schools is necessary before behavioural problems start.

Dr Katrina McFerran’s study spanned five years and found heavy metal music led to mental illness in some teens aged between 13 and 18.

“Most young people listen to a range of music in positive ways; to block out crowds, to lift their mood or to give them energy when exercising, but young people at risk of depression are more likely to be listening to music, particularly heavy metal music, in a negative way,” she said.

Either I’m the biggest fucking scientific anomaly on Earth or these studies are complete and utter bullshit.

One thought on “I’m a Scientific Anomaly”

  1. …and yet, if you read what the scientist says when they quote her, it’s pretty clear that she thinks the causation — if any — goes the other way. So instead of “teens listening to metal are at risk of suicide” it’d be more like “teens contemplating suicide are at risk of listening to metal”.

    But hey…who’d care about a story that says _that_? So let’s switch things around so it sounds like your son’s music taste IS GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!!11!!ONE!!!

    I don’t blame the studies or the scientists who do them…I blame the reporters who either disregard questions about the direction of causation or else literally don’t understand why such things would matter.

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