What Could go Wrong

One of the only saving graces we as a country have in defending ourselves against Transportation Security Administration (TSA) personell is the fact they don’t have the power to arrest people. Lacking this power has made many TSA agents feel as though their penises are quite small forcing them into seeking arrest powers:

Worse, sometimes people get shouty or even—very occasionally—cross the line into assault when TSA workers are just doing their jobs. When that happens, “the passengers were allowed to board flights because TSA screeners are unable to arrest passengers who assault them.” All because of the finicky detail that “TSA cannot legally arrest or detain power under powers granted to it by the federal government,” and must instead “call local police situated in the airport.” So inconvenient.

In other words they want arrest powers to they don’t have to rely on the actual police before being total assholes. Did I mention TSA agents are pissed because they feel their job doesn’t offer property compensation for the stresses they deal with in sexually molesting air travelers:

Elk’s complaint is situated in the middle of a larger argument about the need for collective bargaining to improve the “often brutal working conditions” of TSA employees—which seem to consist of some male-female pay disparities, low pay overall, and low morale—but it’s not clear that arresting unruly passengers who are not otherwise a threat to national security is the sort of thing that would be on the table, should robust collective bargaining rights be granted.

I don’t know about those of you reading this but if my job involved sexually molesting everybody from toddlers to the elderly I’d have no morale whatsoever. It’s also funny that TSA thugs are complaining about the low pay when the job doesn’t even require any training or schooling equivalent to law enforcement. Those wishing to join the ranks of the airline Gestapo need only have a desire to be granted authority and a willingness to set aside any common decency. With meager requirements such as those it’s obvious the pay isn’t going to be anywhere near that of job that requires actual training and specialization not naturally had by most.

The TSA is lucky I’m not in charge because I would disband their entire organization and place every agent involved in sexually assaulting air travelers under arrest.