I Question My Friends’ Sincerity

I question my friends’ sincerity. They told me that the primary election was important because it will allow us to appoint the right people to save this country. They also told me that every vote mattered, and constantly harassed me to go out and vote. Yet when I offered to sell my vote not one person took me up on it. I didn’t even receive an offer. This really confuses me because you would think people who believe that every vote matters would jump on the opportunity to net another vote for their candidates of choice.

As far as I can see there are only three possibilities. One, my friends don’t actually believe every vote matters and thus are unwilling to buy mine to help ensure their candidates’ victories. Two, my friends don’t actually believe that this will be the most important election in our lifetimes and thus have little interest in ensuring their candidates’ victories. Three, my friends simply hate America and Minnesota.

On the upside if my friends’ candidates don’t win they cannot blame me for not voting, they can only blame themselves for not buying my vote.