I want to remind my fellow slaves that tomorrow is Master Selection Day. Our masters are so benevolent that they allow use to choose new masters periodically. There are numerous races to consider from the presidency to congressional representatives to city councils. Whoever a majority of slaves vote for will become the master of his or her particular fiefdom. So don’t forget to vote because not voting could imply that you find the American government illegitimate and your friends will think you hate freedom and democracy!
I should also ask you to support my master of choice. While conditions seems unfavorable at the moment I can ensure you that selecting the other master will leads to even worse conditions for use slaves. Therefore you must vote for my preferred master for the sake of this country.