Going Full Retard

That’s valuable advice. When you go full retard you inevitably make an ass of yourself and nobody ever takes you seriously again. Apparently these individuals never learned that lesson:

HIGHLAND, Utah – Billed as a call for an uprising, opponents of same-sex marriage gathered for a meeting in Highland on Saturday.

Former Graham County, Ariz., Sheriff Richard Mack spoke about issues concerning the U.S. Constitution, including same-sex marriage.

Mack says that since it appears that Herbert and other elected leaders have failed at their jobs, it’s up to law enforcement and everyday citizens to deny same-sex marriage.

And what, exactly, are law enforcement agents and everyday citizens supposed to do to stop same-sex marriages? Are law enforcement agents expected to kick in the doors of same-sex couples and shoot their dog to send a message? Are everyday citizens supposed to show up to same-sex weddings, beat everybody attending, and burn the place to the ground? How far is this holy crusade supposed to go?

“The people of Utah have rights, too, not just the homosexuals. The homosexuals are shoving their agenda down our throats,” Mack said.

What a strange false dichotomy. By saying “the people of Utah” Mr. Mack necessarily included homosexuals because homosexuals are, like Soylent Green, people! But I’m not sure why non-homosexuals have the right to infringe on a voluntary union between two individuals of the same sex. Obviously I’m not the master of all but from my vantage point of a person who likes to leave other people alone it seems as though two individuals should be allowed to enter into any voluntary arrangement they so desire.

Cherilyn Eager, who helped organize the event, says that it’s time for the citizens of Utah to speak up for their rights.

“We need people to stand up and speak out. We need to get noisy. We need some outrage,” Eager said. ”It is about the sheriffs now coming out to protect the people.”

Outrage? The United States is engaged in several unwarranted foreign wars, the homeless are treated like shit in most of the country, and the police are acting like an occupying military force. If you’re not outraged by now you either have a very Discordian view of things that helps you cope with such nonsense in a humorous way or your priorities are a bit strange. I fail to see how two individual entering into a voluntary union should spark more outrage than wars, abuses against the needy, and police brutality. In a voluntary union nobody gets hurt or dies while in the latter three people do get hurt and die.

Here’s my question for everybody up in arms about same-sex marriage: why do you care? Seriously. It seems like an awfully stupid thing to invest time in worrying about. If somebody was trying to force churches to perform same-sex marriages against their will I would understand the outrage. But when the status of same-sex marriage flips from illegal to legal it seems entirely pointless to complain about. Hell, most of the loudest opponents to legalizing same-sex marriages are the organizations ultimately responsible for the legalization. Had the currently complaining religious institutions fought the state’s attempt to define marriage then this entire fiasco could have been avoided. But you had to get the state involved and now you’re upset because the state isn’t doing what you want anymore.

Instead of getting up in arms about legalized same-sex marriage why not get up in arms about something that actually involves people being hurt or killed?