TSA Develops New Scam to Steal Your Stuff

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) will soon have to change its name to the Thieves’ Guild. While it has been stealing trinkets from airline passengers for ages now but it has had to steal more valuable items behind closed doors. That will no longer be the case! The TSA has developed a new scam to separate you from your stuff:

The TSA now requires that you power on your gadgets when flying to the US from “certain overseas airports.” If you have a dead battery, you’re out of luck. You’ll likely have to leave that hardware behind, and you might go through “additional screening” at the same time.

Did you run your laptop’s battery down at the meeting before flying back home? That’s too bad because it will now become the property of the TSA. Did your cellphone battery run out while you were taking pictures on your last day of vacation? The TSA thanks you for donating your cellphone to its agents.

There are so many things that are wrong with this new policy that I don’t know where to begin. First of all the fancy baggage x-ray machines can already see the contents of your electronic devices. If the screener misses a fucking bomb hidden inside of the case then he shouldn’t be screening. Anything. Ever. Because that’s a major mishap. Second of all there have been no cases of an attacker smuggling a bomb onto a plane inside of an electronic device. This is probably because the baggage x-ray machines would see it. Third of all having every passenger power on every electronic device they’re carrying is going to slow down security lines a lot. After all many passengers fly with a laptop and a cell phone at a minimum. Others also fly with an e-book reader, handheld game system, portable music player, smartwatch, camera, and so on. This policy would actually bring the entire Las Vegas airport to a grinding halt if TSA implemented it during Defcon.

This is another case of the TSA playing security theater and whenever it does that it almost always involves taking passenger’s stuff. And the best part about this theater is the ticket prices will soon be increasing. There’s nothing like having to pay somebody more money so they can steal more of your shit.