Yesterday’s Apple Announcement

There isn’t much else worth writing about so I’ll fill some space by giving a quick summary of yesterday’s Apple announcements.

First Apple introduced us to the new iPhone 6. It’s thinner and faster, just like every other iPhone. But here’s the twist, there are two screen sizes. The first, dubbed the iPhone 6, is slightly larger than the current iPhone. But Apple saved the best for last because the company has finally released a phone that is big enough to be impractical to carry around and it’s calling it the iPhone 6 Plus. Now Apple users can experience the joy of a phone that’s too big to fit in most pockets but too small to be a useful tablet.

Next Apple announced Apple Pay. I think the name explains it quite well, it’s Apple’s new payment system. This looks interesting simply because current credit and debit card security in this country is a joke. When it can be used everywhere credit cards are accepted I will probably take a bigger interest.

Finally Apple’s big announcement, the Apple Watch, made everybody at the event euphoric. Basically it’s the ugliest device Apple has released since I started using the company’s products. Seriously. It’s really fucking ugly. On the upside it does pack a lot of features into its hideous shell. The watchband is easily removed and replaced with other Apple Watch compatible bands because using standard watchbands would be too much to ask for. As expected it uses inductive charging, contains a heartbeat monitor, and a gyroscope. You interface with the watch via the crown, which scrolls shit when you turn it and dumps you back to the home screen when you press it in. There’s also another button on the side that brings up your contacts. Oh, I almost forgot, it also has a touchscreen, which renders all of the hardware controls pretty pointless. One of the big questions with any smartwatch is how long the battery lasts. Well Apple totally didn’t mention that so we have no idea. But come 2015 you will be able to get your hands on one for the low price of $349.00. Or for just a little bit more you could buy a Hamilton Khaki Field watch, which nets you a nice looking piece with a mechanical movement. Your choice.

After the Apple Watch announcement I began to suspect that Apple was trolling everybody at the event. My suspicions were confirmed when Apple subjected every poor son of a bitch at the event to U2. Talk about adding insult to injury. Oh, and U2 announced another shitty album. But it seems that the band finally realizes that its music is shitty because you can get it free on iTunes, which is too high of a price if you ask me.

2 thoughts on “Yesterday’s Apple Announcement”

  1. I find it funny that everyone I have seen speculate on the watch price has been honed in on the $350 price point. Says something about how overly proud Apple is of their stuff.

    1. Before Apple announced the price my friend an I were taking bets as to prices. I said Apple may be able to get away with $250 but I doubt it could go much higher. He said Apple would certainly go higher than $250. He was right. But I don’t believe Apple is going to get away with it. My prediction, which is based off of throwing animal bones into a fire and reading the cracks, is that the Apple Watch will be kind of like the Apple TV as far as sales. The device won’t completely tank but it won’t be a major seller either. Of course I’ve been known to underestimate such matters before.

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