The Extent of American Militarism

The United States has a wicked hammer called the military. And like most people who only have a hammer the United States sees every problem as a nail. This has been apparent in the country’s foreign relations, which more closely resemble an extremely abusive relationship than a healthy marriage (it only bombs you because it loves you). But this seeing everything as nails problem has gone to a level of absurdity. As the fear of Ebola virus causes people around the world to piss their pants the United States government has stepped forth to reassure the fearful that it has the answer. And that answer is a world renowned team of viral experts who are being given access to whatever resources they need to defeat this virus! Just kidding. The answer, as always, is the military:

President Barack Obama has called the West Africa Ebola outbreak “a threat to global security” as he announced a larger US role in fighting the virus.

“The world is looking to the United States,” Mr Obama said, but added the outbreak required a “global response”.

The measures announced included ordering 3,000 US troops to the region and building new healthcare facilities.

I guess the plan is to just shoot the virus. That should work. After all the United States is, like, totally not using this outbreak as an excuse to increase its military presence in Africa so it can get to the continent’s resources before China.