More Sheepdog Stupidity

Why I bother venturing out into the Internet is beyond me. But to add another feather to my hat that sees the whole sheep, wolf, sheepdog analogy as corrosive and meant solely to jerk off the egos of insecure gun owners I now have this gem of an exchange:

Self-Proclaimed Sheepdog: “The difference between a sheep and a sheepdog is that a sheepdog runs towards the gunfight!”

Me: “Personally I find gunfights to be a hazard to my health and try to avoid them.”

Self-Proclaimed Sheepdog: “And that’s why you’re a sheep. You want to carry the gun but you can’t handle the responsibility that comes with it.”

Me: “If you were walking down the street and heard gunfire being exchanged between two groups would you run towards it?”

Self-Proclaimed Sheepdog: “You’re goddamn right I would!”

Me: “Well then you’re what I like to refer to as a self-correcting problem.”

In addition to being a self-correcting problem this individual also suffers from a hero complex. Not surprisingly there is a positive correlation between people who talk about running towards a gunfight and a rather tragic form of situational color blindness where anything other than black or white situations fail to register. I imagine most of the scenarios concocted in self-proclaimed sheepdogs’s heads is based on a simple pattern of first the neo-Nazi skinhead walks into a mall and announced “I am a neo-Nazi skinhead! I intent to murder all of you in cold blood without any reason! I am going to commence murdering you now!”, begins shooting, gets shot by the heroic sheepdog that ran towards him like all sheepdogs do, and all of the hot women in the mall have sex with their savior (and later all of the hot women on his Facebook friends list who read about his heroism have sex with him).

Defensive situations are seldom that black and white. What’s more likely is that our sheepdog will hear the sound of gun fire, run towards it, realize that it’s a complete clusterfuck where the good guys and bad guys are indiscernible, and end up getting shot dead by a stray bullet because he was stupid enough to run towards a gunfight.

Self-proclaimed sheepdogs like to act superior because they seem themselves as paragons of all that is right and proper in the world. As individuals of such high moral character it is up to them to defend all of the stupid sheep. That means running towards any situation that might involve wolves eating sheep. What these paragons of all that is right and proper fail to consider is that any confrontation is potentially hazardous to your health. I don’t know about them but there are people in my life who want me alive. Since I really like these people I don’t want to disappoint them by dying needlessly, which means I’m going to run towards any gunfights. Furthermore I know that involving myself in a random gunfight isn’t going to result in me getting my brains fucked out by hundreds of super hot women. What it will result in is me getting shot by a responding police officer who saw a man with a gun and decided his safety was more important than determining whether or not I was a good guy sheepdog. Even if I don’t get shot I know that there will likely be a long legal battle ahead.

Holding the attitude that you’re a sheepdog and will therefore run towards gunfights is a quick way to end up six feet under the ground or in a cage and in debt to a lawyer.