Fresh Statistical Numbers from Britain

It looks like we have some new violent crime numbers for Oceania…

They are claiming killings are at a 20 year low and gun crime along with other violent crimes are down…

But overall crime is down by 5% and violent crime has fallen by 6%, and gun crime has seen a 17% fall.

Of course since guns are illegal in Oceania shouldn’t gun crime be at 0% of all crimes? I mean the magical gun ban barrier stops all guns from coming into the country. Oh wait there are more statistics…

The number of attempted murders is also down 7%, but attempted murders with knives is up 11%.

Oh Hell now people using knives in murder attempts are up. Oceania better get on banning all knives quickly.

Other violent offences were up, however, including a 5% increase in the number of women raped to 12,165.

You know it’s much harder to rape a woman when she has a gun. I’m just saying.

Police recorded 284,000 domestic burglaries – the first increase in six years.

And criminals are more likely to break into your domicile if they know that not only do you not have any means of self defense but defending yourself against the intruder can nail you a prison sentence.

The British Crime Survey suggests the risk of being a victim of crime has risen from 22% to 23%.

Once again the risk of being victimized greatly increases when you are unable to defend yourself against an attacker. The strong prey on the weak. There is no likely way I’m going to be able to defend myself against a man with a gun unless I to have a gun. God made man but Samuel Colt made them equal is the right saying for this.

But BBC Home Affairs correspondent Andy Tighe said the survey showed overall crime and robbery appeared to be stable.

Wow if that’s not lying through numbers I don’t know what is. I’m sure they defined a certain percentage as being stable such as 5%. Now to me any increase in crime (for the likelihood of being a victim in a crime as they state) is not stable but an increase. Likewise if there were a drop it wouldn’t be stable but a decrease, which is what you want.

And now for the money quote provided by Mr. Chris Grayling…

It looks like the government is trying to cover up the scale of the problem we face with knife crime, little wonder given its policies have failed to get to grips with the challenge. Massaging the figures on knife crime twice in two years is just an insult to the families of those who have been tragically murdered in knife attacks and who are campaigning for real action to get knives off our streets.

I guess it’s time for Oceania to raise a magical knife ban barrier. Once that’s up and all knives, like all guns, are out of the country they can work on all blunt interments. Of course it’s going to be hard to cook without knives but who cares it’s for the protection of yourself and others.