I Think It’s Time for a Denial of Service Attack

How’s this for creepy shit? Walmart is sucking the cock of teaming up with the Department of Homeland Security to place video displays in stores with Janet Napolitanio telling people if they see something say something. That’s right when you go to your local Walmart you’ll soon be indoctrinated by Homeland Security propaganda advising you to do something that doesn’t actually help secure anything.

Being a troublemaker and an overall anti-authoritarian man I have a proposal. I think it’s time for a denial of service attack against this new Homeland Security measure. The concept is simple. To quote Bruce Schneier, “if you ask amateurs to act as front-line security personnel, you shouldn’t be surprised when you get amateur security.” If you try to get everyday Joes to report potential terrorism you’re going to get a ton of false positives. These false positives need to be investigated by the local police departments as a cover their ass measure. If the number of calls in areas where this Homeland Security bullshit is being implemented increases dramatically it’ll become an expensive failure.

Thus the proposal is simple, if your local Walmart (or any other store) implement these monitors start calling the police about every stupid little thing you see. Every person with a camera, speaking in a foreign language, looking nervous in any way, looking suspicious in anyways, tying their shoes funny, or wearing clothing that is of a color you don’t generally like gets reported to the police. Hell I’d say report yourself as well but the police won’t actually waste any effort investigating an obviously fake call (thus you want to keep your reports semi-believable but obviously amateur). Eventually the cost of investigating all these reports will grow high enough that the local police will want to videos removed.

I did find this last line interesting:

The program has already partnered with the Mall of America, the American Hotel & Lodging Association, Amtrak, the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority, sports and general aviation industries, and other organizations across the country, DHS said.

The Mall of America is right in my backyard (on the other end of the Twin Cities). I’ll have to actually go there sometime and see if these videos are playing and if they are start making some phone calls. Lord knows I’m still pissed that the Mall of America thinks they can ban firearms on the premises even though they are a landlord (who legally can’t ban in the state of Minnesota).