Political Correctness and Geometry

Political correctness has to be one of the dumbest concepts the human race has ever decided to waste time on. It seems people are paid to find phrases that may be offensive to somebody and then come up with a new phrase that’s fifty fucking words in length and somehow less offensive. I believe a theory was written somewhere that states the more words a phrase has the less offensive it is.

Well let’s take a look at the latest cluster fuck brought to us by a Seattle school who just renamed Easter eggs “spring spheres.” No I’m not making this up:

“At the end of the week I had an idea to fill little plastic eggs with treats and jelly beans and other candy, but I was kind of unsure how the teacher would feel about that,” Jessica said.

She was concerned how the teacher might react to the eggs after of a meeting earlier in the week where she learned about “their abstract behavior rules.”

“I went to the teacher to get her approval and she wanted to ask the administration to see if it was okay,” Jessica explained. “She said that I could do it as long as I called this treat ‘spring spheres.’ I couldn’t call them Easter eggs.”

In the frantic move to make something politically correct some administrative bozo also managed to screw these kids with geometry. An egg is not a sphere, it’s not even close. Obviously these teachers failed geometry because if they had passed they would know that a sphere is a perfectly round geometric object in three dimensional space.

Now that I think about it I believe the word school has bad connotations attached to it. Because of this I propose we renamed schools “equal opportunity non-discriminatory community oriented education environment.” Look how many words are in there, it can’t possibly be offensive!

What we really need right now is a lesson in political correctness by everybody’s favorite Gunnery Sergeant: