And to Think We Paid for This

So the Center for Disease Control (CDC) has posted up a guide to surviving the zompocalypse. Read through it and then realize your tax dollars paid for somebody to write this guide up. The guide posted is wholly irresponsible in my opinion as the CDC doesn’t even touch the concept of property defensive weapons to utilize when the dead rise. For instance this is what the CDC recommends you have in your preparedness kit:

  • Water (1 gallon per person per day)
  • Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
  • Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
  • Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
  • Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
  • Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
  • Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
  • First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

How about a fucking gun? Zombies are serious business and all the first aid supplies in the world won’t do you a damned bit of good if you get bitten by the undead. I also love how they have a picture of family members meeting outside near a mailbox. You know where a better place to be in that situation is? Inside of the fucking brick house. Yes it has a glass door but it also has two stories meaning there is a choke point on the stairs where you could gun down the undead… you know if you had a gun. Oh, and this is fucking rich:

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).

Notice how they make no reference to bringing in the military or weapons to arm local militias? I’m sure that an investigation is going to make mom feel better when her daughter gets bitten and turn into a brain eating undead pile of decaying flesh. Once again the government has proven itself unable to spend tax dollars in a responsible nature. Following the advice in this writeup will likely get you turned into a rancid mass of human hunting death. If the government is going to steal money from me I at least ask that they come up with a proper zombie defense guide.

Fuck the government can’t do anything right.