Government is the Worst Girlfriend You’ve Ever Had

I think I’ve come across one of the best analogies for describing government ever written. Government is basically the worst girlfriend you’ve ever had:

Imagine, if you will: You’re a single guy who (a few years back) was in a terrible marriage with this overbearing foreign broad. She treated you like shit and tried to run every fucking aspect of your life. You were miserable. So one day, after trying everything to make it work, you finally decided enough’s enough, and served her with papers… She did not take it well. The divorce was messy, but in the end you basically got everything. You knew immediately you didn’t want another serious relationship, you’re too independent for that. You just needed something light… You needed a fuck-buddy.

As with many relationships that start off as friends with benefits government will start off as a convenience that eventually turns into a tyrannical bitch:

Bit by bit she started controlling every little piece of your life. She nagged you to get rid of the car you loved and buy something more “practical.” When you remodeled your bathroom she told you what kind of toilet, shower head, and water heater to buy (To make sure you still felt like a man, she let you make the final choice from a list of products that she liked… that manipulative bitch.) She did the same with the appliances in your kitchen, and quietly replaced all your light bulbs with the kind she preferred. Even though you resented it, you had better things to do than worry about interior decorating, so to avoid a fight, you gave in and did what she wanted.

Go read the entire thing, I think you’ll enjoy it.