Republican Candidate Debate Roundup

Last night I had the… opportunity… to partake in watching the Republican Presidential Debate with a surprisingly large group of awesome people. First of all let me sum up the debate in one sentence: everybody on the stage besides Ron Paul was a fucking idiot.

Now that my bias is out there for all to see let me talk briefly about the debate. First of all as per the usual Ron Paul was mostly ignored during the debate. He was asked something around four questions, none of which were asked of other candidates and all of which were loaded. For example the inquisitors guys with the questions asked all the candidates if they would keep Ben Bernanke as the head of the Federal Reserve then they asked Ron Paul why he hated children (technically they worded the question around welfare to which Dr. Paul answered that such things were the responsibility of each individual state because he actually read the Constitution).

General consensus of my group was that Michelle Bachmann looked like a vampire. I believe bets were taken at some point on whether or not she would turn into a bat and fly away at the conclusion of the debate.

Gary Johnson performed admirably… wait he wasn’t invited because he’s one of the very few people who the media hate more than Ron Paul (or Ron Paul is simply too popular and the media knows there is no way to silence him completely at this point).

Romney was on the war path yet again. If he had his way we’d storm over to the Middle East and kill every man, woman, and child there which would then be followed by the construction of a huge palace as a testament to the greatness of the American war machine and as a warning to the rest of the world to submit or die.

I have no idea why Huntsman was there considering the percentage of votes he’s not been receiving in recent straw polls. The same can also be said of Herman Cain but at least he’s kind of entertaining on stage. Santorum was there but for the life of me I can’t remember anything memorable that he did.

Finally we have Rick Perry. Perry was an interesting person to watch in last night’s debate because I’m pretty sure he just had Ron Paul’s books sitting up on his podium for his notes. It’s amazing that a man who issued an executive order to force 12 year-old girls to be injected with Gardasil after being lobbied by large pharmaceutical companies all of the sudden has a message of liberty.

The debate was concluded by asking each candidate (except Gary Johnson of course, because he’s not cool enough to be invited to the party) what they would do about illegal immigration which is where Ron Paul made the most memorable statement of the night. With the exception of Ron Paul I think each candidate supported building a giant demilitarized zone fence between the United States and Mexico. Ron Paul was the only candidate to bring up the fact that a fence used to keep people out can also be used to keep people in. That was a brilliant observation considering the tyrannical direction this country keeps continuing towards. My biggest problem with the idea of building a fence between American and any other country is the fact that it could be used in the same manner as the Berlin Wall.

On a final note I think a new debate rule should be put into place for future Republican debates. From here on out each candidate should only be allowed to play the Reagan card three times during a debate. Seriously, after last night I’m thoroughly convinced that a great number of Republicans believe Reagan died on the cross of our sins. Once again Ron Paul was the only person that had enough balls to say Reagan’s message was good but the results of his presidency were not (massive deficit spending after preaching fiscal conservatism for instance).