It amazes me that a satirical news site like The Onion can make the most accurate commentary about current political events:
BOCA RATON, FL—Saying that the high-value target represented a major threat to their most vital objectives, Obama administration officials confirmed tonight that former governor Mitt Romney was killed by a predator drone while attending a presidential debate at Lynn University.
The drone strike, which killed three of Romney’s sons sitting near the debate stage, reportedly also took the lives of at least 45 civilians, including 12 Lynn University students, nine Secret Service agents, first daughter Malia Obama, and two cameramen.
“Military operations of this ilk are dangerous, and occasionally a few innocent civilians get caught in the crossfire,” said Carney, describing the lost arm and severe second-degree facial burns inflicted on debate moderator Bob Schieffer as “necessary collateral damage.” “However, we must realize that this is a price we pay when we face our greatest challenges.”
At press time, President Obama was reportedly wiping his face clean of Romney’s blood and had removed his late opponent’s severed head from his lap to begin his closing remarks.
Why is it that a satirical newspaper like The Onion has more in-depth coverage of the presidential debates than so-called reputable news organizations? While both candidates are arguing in favor of continuing and starting new wars news organizations like Fox, CNN, and NBC are arguing over who “won” the debate. It’s pretty difficult to discern a winner when both candidates hold the exact same views.