Well it has finally happened, I have finally received my first death threat via this blog’s e-mail address. Overall the threat was a fairly standard affair, consisting of the same tired ramblings one has come to expect from gun control advocates:
Dear Christopher Burg,
How does it feel being responsible for the death of children? Shit stains like you are directly responsible for Sandy Hook! It’s time somebody put you gun fucks in your place. Your [sic] pretty fucking stupid putting your real name on your site. I live in Minnesota as well and I’m going to find you and fucking kill you. Your days are numbered asshole. Its [sic] open season on NRA shills!
I will give my secret admirer some credit for having decent spelling in grammar. A few points must be deducted for the misuse of your instead of you’re and its instead of it’s. These are rather minor issues though and are commonly made by individuals who haven’t yet entered a 6th grade English class. Benefit of the doubt regarding his age will be given to my secret admirer as I don’t want to discourage an inspiring writer.
With that said I think my secret admirer will be relegated to writing canned vampire romance novels. I say this because he shows a remarkable lack of creativity in his threat. That shouldn’t discourage my secret admirer though as the sales of canned vampire romance novels such as Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey have been phenomenal. One doesn’t have to be a genre defining author to make money. With that said if my secret admirer is reading this and wants to be a genre defining author instead of a writer of canned vampire romance novels I have some advice. First he needs to drop the NRA shill remark. Advocates of gun control have been using that line for ages now and it demonstrates a lack of creativity. Spice things up a little bit. There are other gun rights organizations out there. He could refer to me as a Second Amendment Foundation (SAF) shill or a Jews for the Preservation of Firearm Ownership (JPFO) shill. Better yet he could stop basing his insults on organizations appearing on my blog’s side bar and try writing something entirely his own. A truly creative writer shouldn’t be playing follow the leader, he should create his own games.
I would also recommend he reduce his reliance on the word fuck. He probably believes it’s a very edgy word to say right now, and at a young age it certainly is, but such an over reliance is generally off putting as it makes writings appear unintelligent. I’m sure this is a problem that will correct itself with time.
Overall I give my secret admirer a seven out of ten. It’s far better than a majority of death threats I’ve seen posted by other gun rights activists but could certainly stand some improvement. I hope my secret admirer takes the criticisms I’ve made in the spirit they’re meant and not a personal attack against his character. I would be interested in seeing more death threats from my secret admirer in a few years to see how much his art form has improved.