A Geek With Guns

Chronicling the depravities of the State.

Archive for the ‘Things Having Nothing to do with Anything’ tag

Is There No Low to Which the Republicans Won’t Sink

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First the Republicans threw grandma off of a cliff. Now they’re running people down with trains:

A train carrying Republican lawmakers to a retreat hit a lorry on the track in Virginia, killing the driver of the truck, says the White House.

Six people were injured, including another truck passenger who was airlifted out with critical injures.

Is there now low to which the Republicans won’t sink?

Written by Christopher Burg

February 1st, 2018 at 10:00 am


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Humanity has enjoyed its position as an apex predator for only a brief period of Earth’s history. And while this time at the top was fun, the time to hail our avian overlords will soon be at hand:

The claim is that the birds pick up burning twigs from existing fires and drop them elsewhere to start new blazes. This would flush out prey hidden in the brush.

It starts with them using fire to flush our prey but it will end in them using fire to flush humans out of their cities!

Written by Christopher Burg

January 12th, 2018 at 10:00 am

Io Saturnalia

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It’s almost Christmas so I will leave you with a gift, a picture of the Elk God proudly displaying the severed head of a demon elk he has slain.

Written by Christopher Burg

December 22nd, 2017 at 10:00 am

The Sordid State of Conspiracy Theories

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Remember when conspiracy theories involved shadowy organizations pulling the strings behind the scenes in order to advance plots so complex that they made James Bond villains look like simpletons by comparison?

Now we get mundane plots like George Soros paying some leftist militant to attack Rand Paul in order to send a message. I blame the degraded literacy rates. Nobody appears capable of crafting complex plots like those found in many novels. Instead people today seem to only be capable of concocting straight forward storytelling of the likes found in most Marvel movies.

Written by Christopher Burg

November 7th, 2017 at 11:00 am

Posing for Rockets and Bombs

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Football season has started. I only know this because a bunch of people were once again arguing about the proper way to pose when that Rockets and Bombs song plays before the gladiatorial event commences.

How is this still a thing? How can people bring themselves to care deeply about how somebody else poses for a song? If you want to standup for Rockets and Bombs, then by all means do so. If you want to sit down, then do so. If somebody else doesn’t want to do the same thing as you, it won’t impact your life in any way whatsoever so don’t concern yourself with them.

Written by Christopher Burg

September 25th, 2017 at 10:30 am

Do You Even Lift, Brah

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I can finally say that my proposal to help people cultivate their ego in order to spread freedom is backed up by SCIENCE!

A recent study showed that weak men are more likely to be socialist. Since the site requires you to register to read the entire article, I’ll include this image of the physically printed story:

As you know, one of the activities I mentioned to help bolster an individual’s ego is working out so this study is right up my alley. While I don’t have access to the research paper and therefore I don’t know what methodologies were used to determine how strong or socialist a subject was, how the subjects were chosen, or whether there was a control group, the study confirms my bias so it’s SCIENCE and you can’t argue against it!

Written by Christopher Burg

May 26th, 2017 at 10:00 am

On the Gorsuch Nomination

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Donald Trump has nominated Neil Gorsuch for the Supreme Court. I have no opinion about this nomination one way or another but Gorsuch sounds Russian. You can even transcribe his name, Горсуч, into Cyrillic perfectly.

Interesting, don’t you think, товарищ?

Written by Christopher Burg

February 1st, 2017 at 10:00 am

Humble Water Filter Salesman Apparently Offered White House Press Credentials

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Granted, a majority of what Alex Jones says is bullshit but he claims that he’s been offered White House press credentials:

Here’s the deal, I know I get White House credentials, we’ve already been offered them, we’re going to get them, but I’ve just got to spend the money to send somebody there. I want to make sure it’s even worth it. I don’t want to just sit there up there like ‘m in the media, look our people are there.’ People don’t understand this paradigm, we’re devolving in a good way, power from the federal government back to the people, back from the centralized MSM to the people, just like Trump said in his speech.

I couldn’t write comedy of this quality if I had a year to do so!

The fact that an organization like InfoWars has apparently received White House press credentials is hilarious enough. But Alex seems genuinely excited about it! He has finally won the victory over himself. He loves Big Brother.

Written by Christopher Burg

January 27th, 2017 at 10:00 am

Happy Whatever You’re Celebrating

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Whether you’re celebrating Thanksgiving or pouring out libations for the Native Indians killed by the European settlers, have a good day.

Written by Christopher Burg

November 24th, 2016 at 10:00 am

Making Enemies with the UPS Man

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One thing I don’t talk about much here is working out. Part of the reason behind this is because I only started regularly working out at the beginning of this year and don’t feel as though I have enough knowledge to say a whole lot on the subject. But at the beginning of this year I decided it was time to take some action of the healthcare front.

I had two primary motivations when I started my training regimen. My first motivation was enjoying the benefits of being physically fit. People who are physically fit can do more for longer and are harder to kill. My second motivation was to further divorce myself from the State. As an agorist I’m used to discussing ideas behind divorcing one’s self from the State. Most of these ideas involve avoiding paying taxes, buying permits, and otherwise providing money to the State. But there are other ways you can increase your independence from the State. Healthcare in this country has become almost inseparable from the State. Being healthy makes you less reliant on the healthcare system and therefore increases your independence from the State. As a slight aside, I did have an additional minor motivation, which was to simply not become the stereotypical fat white guy at the gun range.

At the beginning of the year my workout regimen wasn’t set in stone. I played with things until I found what I liked. One of the things I played with were kettlebells. I don’t like going to gyms so working out at home is a far more preferable option. Kettlebells are nice in that they’re relatively affordable and you can perform a full workout with them in even a small room. They’re also good for building both strength and stamina since many of the lifts are explosive in nature, which puts stress both on your muscles and your cardiovascular system. So I started with a 25 pound kettlebell (upper body strength has never been a strong suit of mine and was the primary limitation to the weight I could workout with) and slowly moved my way up with the goal of using a 50 pound kettlebell by the end of the year.

At the beginning of June my workout regimen started to stabalize. I alternated days between body weight exercises and the Simple and Sinister kettlebell program, which is built around swings and Turkish get ups.

Although a shoulder injury knocked my progress back I’m happy to say that last night I finally achieved the goal I set for myself at the beginning of the year:


Until now I’ve been using enamel coated CAP kettlebells. They’ve served their purpose and I feel that they offer good bang for your buck but the handles are just a hair smaller than I’d like and the enamel coating is pretty brittle. This time around I decided to spend a bit more and was happy to receive quite a bit more.

My new kettlebell is a powder coated piece of iron made by Kettlebell Kings. So far I’m impressed. The powder coating is grippier than CAP’s enamel coating, the handle is wide enough where I can get the entirety of both of my hands in it, and there are no rough edges inside of the handle (the CAP kettlebells sometimes have a seem inside the handle but it’s tolerable because the enamel coating smooths it out mostly). I did my first workout with it last night and really enjoyed it.

However, I don’t think the UPS driver enjoyed it. I’ve unintentionally been a dick to him because I’ve ordered all of my kettlebells online (Amazon Prime is wonderfully abusable for this) and he’s had to deliver ever increasingly heavy boxes to my apartment and I’m not planning on letting up on him anytime soon.

Written by Christopher Burg

November 11th, 2016 at 11:00 am