What Makes Me Laugh

The day before yesterday, if you talked to many members of the gun rights community, you would have learned that Starbucks sell some of the best damned coffee this side of Sagittarius A*. In addition to absolutely banging coffee you would have also learned about Starbucks’ excellent selection of delectable pastries. You would wonder why anybody would bother going to the obviously inferior likes of Dunn Brothers or Caribou Coffee when they could have excellence from a company that has always been rabid supporter of right to keep and bear arms!

Somehow Starbucks managed to change everything it did overnight. Now asking many members of the gun rights community about Starbucks will lead you to learn about its absolutely shitty coffee. You may wonder exactly how shitty Starbucks’ coffee is. Fear not because you will be told that you need only imagine the worse coffee you’ve ever had and multiply its shittiness by infinity + 1. But don’t worry because these friendly advice givers will gladly point you to the local Super America, which they will note has way better coffee for a fraction of the price. You will also be warned about the dry, flavorless concoctions that Starbucks tries to pass off as pastries. Fortunately Super America sells pastries. They may be three day old pastries but, according to the gun rights activists I’ve talked to today, they still taste way better than Starbucks’ pastries.

Seriously guys, this shit is hilarious. I haven’t seen this many opinions change this quickly since Orson Scott Card announced his hatred of homosexuality.