Solving the World’s Problems

A lot of people spend a lot of time discussing ways to fix the world’s problems. Usually the solutions involved government programs. Somehow people fail to recognize that every government program has ended up being a wealth transference between the people and the oligarchs. Fortunately I’m here with real solutions. To fix the world’s problems we simply need more metal:

Though heavy metal originated amist working class youths in the U.S. and U.K., new socioeconomic trends have shown a relationship between the number of heavy metal bands and a country’s wealth and standard of living. According to The Atlantic’s City Lab and the Martin Prosperity Institute, the number of heavy metal bands in a given area is positively associated with, “economic output per capita; level of creativity and entrepreneurship; share of adults that hold college degrees; as well as overall levels of human development, well-being, and satisfaction with life.”

Because this isn’t some bullshit research paper meant to push an agenda it does note that correlation does not imply causality. But I think it’s pretty fucking obvious in this case that the number of metal bands in a country causes it to be more metal and countries that are more metal are simply better.

I will continue to help in this glorious mission of making the world a better place by posting metal songs to this blog (usually on Monday mornings).