Your Daily Fear My Fellow Minnesotans

Are you afraid? If you’re not you should be. Why? Because the anarchists the communists the drug cartels the illegal immigrants al-Qaeda al-Shabaab the Islamic State (IS) is coming to get you!

ST. PAUL, Minn. (KMSP) – Bob Fletcher once held the title of Ramsey County sheriff, and he’s reaching out to his law enforcement contacts again because he believes America should be on guard for a new kind of terror attack. This week, Fletcher sent out a bulletin to police agencies to warn them about a new kind of car bomb that has its own brochure.

Al Qaeda published the document, titled “Car Bombs Inside America,” as a step-by-step guide. The detail is amazing, but aside from instructing people to use propane tanks and an oxygen cylinder to create the destructive device, the publication also gives recommendations for targets — including Times Square, casinos in Las Vegas, and oil trains.

Oops, my mistake. It was al-Qaeda this time, not the IS (seriously, Bob Fletcher really missed an opportunity to cash in on the current fear). But they’re supposedly going to come to Minnesota and pull a Time Square bomb here. Which means that the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) will have to find some schmuck with lukewarm intelligence, radicalize him, claim he joined al-Qaeda, and and give him a fake bomb so it can arrest him when he presses the detonator and make itself look like a hero.

Mr. Fletcher, if you’re reading this (which you may very well be since I’m sure I’m the kind of guy you try to make people afraid of), please note that nobody is afraid of an FBI created bomb plot anymore. Nor is anybody going to take the threat of al-Qaeda with car bombs seriously because, let’s fact it, that scenario is pretty ridiculous. And next time make sure your boogeyman is up to day. It’s embarrassing to see law enforcement agents mention al-Qaeda when the IS is the new hotness in fear.