I have an extremely dark sense of humor. That is why the first thing that crossed my mind when I read this:
Authorities discovered the body of a man attached underneath the ice Monday afternoon in a channel between Lake of the Isles and Lake Calhoun.
When I admitted this on Facebook the magical suggestion algorithm gave me this:
A more perfect punchline could not be made by an army of the world’s best comedians. I haven’t laughed so hard for so long in ages.