Tag: Shut Up Slave

Soon Central Banking Failures Will Be Our Fault

The state is the undisputed champion of passing the buck. Whenever it fucks up it finds a way to blame the people. Did the politicians screw up the economy? That’s our fault for voting them in! Is your local police department out of control? You voted for the sheriff! There isn’t enough money circulating throughout the economy? What do you expect when people save hoard money? Accumulated debt is causing chaos in the banking system? Obviously people aren’t saving enough money!

Now the Bank of England is setting itself up to blame the people for arbitrarily set interest rates not bringing prosperity:

According to Sky News, the world’s eighth oldest bank will now assess the frequency of job searches and monitor prices online to understand potential unemployment rates and monitor inflation. It will also gauge language used on social networks to better understand the state of some financial markets. It’s another example of the shift towards “big data,” where companies collect and analyse huge sets of digital data rather than use traditional database techniques to detect patterns as they happen. The Bank of England says it used these techniques to help impose new controls on the housing market earlier in the year, and hopes this “big shift from the past” will help it better judge Britain’s financial status in the future.

Inflation will now be our fault because we sent the wrong signals over our social media feeds! Isn’t the state brilliant? There’s nothing it can’t blame on somebody else.

Ignorance of the Law is Not an Excuse, Unless You’re a Cop

How many times have you heard petty authoritarians and cops (but I repeat myself) say “Ignorance of the law is not an excuse”? What they really mean is that ignorance of the law is not an excuse unless you’re a cop. Cops periodically enforce nonexistent laws. A popular phrase relating to this issue is that “You can be the rap but you can’t beat the ride.” Even if a cop is enforcing a fictitious law you as an individual have little recourse. But what happens when a cop enforcing a nonexistent law finds evidence that you’re breaking an existing law? According to the Nazgûl, err, the Supreme Court it means you’re going to be a UNICOR slave for a few years:

At issue in Heien v. North Carolina was a 2009 traffic stop for a single busted brake light that led to the discovery of illegal drugs inside the vehicle. According to state law at the time, however, motor vehicles were required only to have “a stop lamp,” meaning that the officer did not have a lawful reason for the initial traffic stop because it was not a crime to drive around with a single busted brake light. Did that stop therefore violate the 4th Amendment’s guarantee against unreasonable search and seizure? Writing today for the majority, Chief Justice John Roberts held that it did not. “Because the officer’s mistake about the brake-light law was reasonable,” Roberts declared, “the stop in this case was lawful under the Fourth Amendment.”

Roberts’ opinion was joined by Justices Antonin Scalia, Anthony Kennedy, Clarence Thomas, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen Breyer, Samuel Alito, and Elena Kagan. Writing alone in dissent, Justice Sonia Sotomayor criticized her colleagues for giving the police far too much leeway.

Since the Constitution gives the Supreme Court a monopoly on interpreting the Constitution this decision means that charges stemming from cops enforcing nonexistent laws is constitutional. The Fourth Amendment, once again, proves to be ineffective at protecting our supposed right to be secure from unreasonable search and seizure. But that’s just par for the statist course.

And Suddenly People Care About Torture Again

Shortly after it was known that prisoners in Guantanamo Bay were being tortured there was an uproar by the neoliberals. They claimed to be very upset by the fact that people were being tortures. As it turns out they were only unhappy that their man wasn’t in charge when the torture was occurring and shortly after Bush was replaced by Obama they faded into the background (sadly joining most of the anti-war movement).

Yesterday a report on the torture performed by the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) was released and suddenly people care about torture again:

The summary of the report, compiled by Democrats on the Senate Intelligence Committee, said that the CIA misled Americans about what it was doing.

The information the CIA collected this way failed to secure information that foiled any threats, the report said.

In a statement, the CIA insisted that the interrogations did help save lives.

“The intelligence gained from the programme was critical to our understanding of al-Qaeda and continues to inform our counterterrorism efforts to this day,” Director John Brennan said in a statement.

However, the CIA said it acknowledged that there were mistakes in the programme, especially early on when it was unprepared for the scale of the operation to detain and interrogate prisoners.

Welcome back everybody! Glad to have you with us again! Of course the reactions to this report have been very predictable. The neoliberals, who are again feigning outrage, keep reiterating that this happened under Bush’s watch. I guess the important take away from this report is that the old war criminal was in charge instead of the current war criminal (he’s probably too busy ordering the bombings of Middle Eastern children to bother overseeing torture operations).

The neocons have been equally predictable. Their main takeaway from the torture report is that it was totally cool because it was happening to Middle Easterners. They have also been busy trying to claim that the torture saved the lives of American soldiers even though no evidence exists supporting such a claim (and anybody who has studied interrogation techniques knows torture produces unreliable information because tortured people will tell you whatever they think you want to hear in the hopes you’ll stop inflicting pain).

I don’t care which war criminal was in charge at the time and I don’t care if acts of torture saved lives. Torture is unacceptable. Period. Not only does it produce unreliable information but it’s inhumane as Hell. The only thing torture is useful for is detecting people who should be removed from society. That is to say if somebody is willing to torture another human being they shouldn’t be in society.

Anyways this state crime, like all of its previous crimes, will likely be swept under the rug next week. Then it can go on to torture some other people and everybody can pretend to care for another week after a report is published by whatever party doesn’t hold the position of war-criminal-in-chief.

Another Grand Jury Continues the Trend of Not Indicting a Cop

What happens when a group of law enforcement officers murder a man with down syndrome? A grand jury decides against indicting them!

Less than five miles from the theater where a man with Down syndrome died at the hands of the law enforcement officials he idolized, a grand jury on Friday heard the details of the case and decided that no crime had been committed.

“They felt no further investigation was necessary,” Frederick County State’s Attorney J. Charles Smith said at a news conference outside the county’s courthouse.

Grand jury proceedings are secretive in Maryland, but Smith said that his office presented the jury with 17 witness statements and that three deputies involved in the death — Lt. Scott Jewell, Sgt. Rich Rochford and Deputy First Class James Harris — all testified.

[…]

In February, the Chief Medical Examiner’s Office in Baltimore ruled Saylor’s death a homicide as a result of asphyxia. On Friday, Smith said that the report indicated that Down syndrome and obesity made Saylor more susceptible to breathing problems.

And thus continues the trend of grand juries indicted almost everybody under the sun unless they have a magical liability shield.

Back in the day the state encouraged people to stay fit because they may some day be called to defend the country (which is a euphemism for being send to the Middle East on a holy crusade against Islam). Now the narrative is changing. We must all be in peak physical condition to better improve our chances of survival when interacting with police. If you fail to keep yourself in shape you may very well be more susceptible to asphyxiating when the cop throws your ass to the ground, money piles you, and wraps a few set of handcuffs around your neck.

But in all seriousness never call the police unless you want somebody murdered because that’s what will happen in all likelihood.

How Not to Get Killed By a Cop

So many people have been getting killed by police that I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to survive an encounter with one of those costume clad thugs with a shiny liability shield. I searched through several police department websites seeing if they had any tips or tricks but came up empty handed. It was then that I decided to consult with experts on modern policing, neocons and other petty authoritarians.

After some discussions I finally learned the trick to avoid getting killed by a cop and it’s really simple. If you encounter a cop you just need to be a good little slave, kowtow to the costume clad master, and beg the courts for freedom after you’ve had the shit kicked out of you because the cop didn’t want you to beat the ride even if you could beat the charge.

By simply allowing the petty man with a badge to scream at you, rough you up, and kill your family pets you can survive! At least some of the times. Really it’s up to the office and their decision will likely depend on whether or not they had the opportunity to beat somebody up recently or not.

My Definition of Journalist

Politicians are again throwing hissy fits because they have so far been unsuccessful at definition what a journalist is. The definition of a journalist is a big deal for the freedom of speech because if the politicians are able to define journalist narrow enough they can squash all sort of the legal protections. This time around, just like all of the time prior, the politicians are trying to justify their attempts at stripping people of the coveted journalist title through fear:

Freedom of the press is essential. Freedom of the press is important to me. Freedom of the press is not going anywhere in Alabama.

With the national explosion of partisan political blogs and shady, fly-by-night websites offering purposely skewed and inaccurate interpretations of hard news events, I recently asked the Secretary of the Senate to put together a definition of what qualifies as a legitimate journalist.

My concern focused on the confusion that could result if a number of partisan bloggers requested official credentials to cover legislative happenings from the press rooms located in the rear of each chamber at the State House.

If they don’t define what a journalist is then anybody could potentially go into marble building in which our overlords dictate degrees and report on what’s going on. The need to squash such a possibility is obvious.

As I enjoy being helpful I have decided to put forth a definition of journalist that I believe will work for everybody. So here it is, a journalist is anybody or anything (because someday artificial intelligences may do journalism) that reports on events. Simple enough?

I’m sure my definition isn’t what the politicians are looking for as their interest is restricting who can cover their actions by ensuring reporters are sympathetic to the state. But journalism is only effective if the reporters are cynical assholes who are willing to dig deep to find dirt. In other words to be a good journalist you have to be a bastard:

jounralism

And that’s exactly what the politicians are trying to censor.

Police Considering Charging Michael Brown’s Father for Inciting a Riot

What happens when a police officer kills you son and you react emotionally? The police may decided to charge you with inciting a riot:

(CNN) — Michael Brown’s stepfather was hurt and angry when he urged a crowd in Ferguson, Missouri, last week to “Burn this bitch down,” his wife and attorney say, but that hasn’t stopped authorities from launching an investigation into whether he incited a riot.

Following the announcement that the grand jury would not indict Officer Darren Wilson in his stepson’s death, Louis Head stepped onto a platform above the crowd and embraced his wife, Brown’s mother. He then turned to the demonstrators — some of them shouting “F— the police!” — and yelled, “Burn this motherf—er down!” and “Burn this bitch down!”

[…]

The police chief told TV and radio host Sean Hannity something similar Monday, but he didn’t classify the probe as formal.

“We are pursuing those comments, and there’s a lot of discussion going on about that right now, but I really can’t get into that at this time,” he said.

But police aren’t singling out Head, Jackson told Hannity.

“We can’t let all that happened in Ferguson and Dellwood and the community die. Everyone who is responsible for taking away people’s property, their livelihoods, their jobs, their businesses — every single one of them needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law,” he said.

I have a few problems with this.

First, the idea that one can be charged with inciting a riot. That charge, in my opinion, is bullshit. When people decided to riot who is to blame? The rioters as they were the people who rioted. Nobody else is responsible for their behavior. Claiming that inciting a riot is a criminal offense absolves, at least in part, rioters of responsibility by insinuating they were only acting because somebody else made them act.

Second, insinuating that a grieving individual should express their anger in a logical manner. I’m not a fan of calls for violence but when a kid is killed and the parent(s) feels as though the justice system failed to deliver justice I can understand them being a bit upset. In fact I can understand them being so upset that they would say angry things aimed at the person(s) they felt wronged them. If Michael Brown’s father had actually done something wrong, like tossed a Molotov cocktail at a house, there would be grounds for seeking redress for his misdeed. But all he did was say some unsurprising words considering the situation.

Third, charging Michael Brown’s father with inciting a riot is likely to start more riots. Right now the riots have calmed down. I’ve been told that the police are supposed to be keepers of the peace. If that is the case shouldn’t they leave things alone at this point in the hopes of avoiding more civil unrest? Especially when the person they’re looking at charging didn’t do anything wrong?

The only reason Ferguson police are even considering charging Michael Brown’s father, as far as I can tell, is pure spite. They want somebody’s head, besides their own, over these riots. Since Michael Brown is very dead and they won’t dare blame themselves for instigating the matter in the first place that leaves a family member of Brown’s (sins of the father, sins of the son). I hope they don’t charge him simply because I would like to see some semblance of tranquility in Ferguson but the police in that city have already proven themselves to be less than concerned with maintaining the peace.

They Call It a Shield for a Reason

Do you know why they refer to a police badge as a shield? Because it defends against liability even when you murder somebody:

A grand jury has not charged a New York City police officer over the death of Eric Garner, who died after being placed in a chokehold by the officer.

Does anybody remember the heinous crime Garner committed that lead to officer killjoy murdering him? That’s right, he sold an untaxed cigarette. Everybody who has ever claimed that the state doesn’t kill people for not paying taxes can kindly shut the fuck up now.

What makes this ruling even more egregious is that the coroner ruled the act homicide:

Footage of the incident shows New York Police Department Officer Daniel Pantaleo placing Garner in the chokehold that was the main cause of death according to the coroner, who further ruled the death a “homicide.” (Police at the scene initially claimed that the asthmatic, 350-pound Garner had suffered a heart attack). Like Wilson, Pantaleo was not indicted.

That probably has something to do with the fact that even the New York Police Department (NYPD), one of the most psychopathic police departments in this country, prohibits officers from using choke holds:

Yet clearly something has gone horribly wrong when a man lies dead after being confronted for selling cigarettes to willing buyers. Especially since, as even Bratton has acknowledged, the chokehold applied by the restraining officer is prohibited by the NYPD’s own rulebook. Does the commissioner really control his officers, and is it time to rethink nanny state policies that create flourishing underground markets?

But the grand jury decided it was all good, which raises an important point. People, especially the tough on crime crowd, like to claim that grand juries are examples of justice at work but in reality they’re just another arm of the state meant to intimidate the people into rolling over. In fact it’s very rare for grand juries to not indite, unless the accused has a shield of course.

State Sponsored Fat Shaming

I know that I’m getting old because I can now say “Back when I was a kid.” Anyways, back when I was a kid we had it pounded into our skulls that you never, ever insulted a person’s weight. This went double if that person was a girl. As it turns out constant bombardment by various media outlets telling girls what the ideal figure was resulted in a lot of eating disorders. So the creed of the day became “Everybody is beautiful” and “True beauty comes from within.”

Now the message is changing. Fat shaming is in. In fact fat shaming is now state sponsored! This may have something to do with the state getting itself more embedded in healthcare and therefore wanting to reduce expenses by getting people to kill themselves with anorexia or bulimia losing weight. And since sources are now claiming obesity is costing the healthcare industry as much as smoking you can bet the state is going to be ramping up its fat shaming propaganda post haste:

The worldwide cost of obesity is about the same as smoking or armed conflict and greater than both alcoholism and climate change, research has suggested.

I don’t look forward to the new wave of eating disorders this is likely to cause.

Face Jail Time for Teaching People to Pass a Bull Crap Test

File this post under everything is illegal. A man has been indicted for running a business that claims to teach people how to pass polygraph tests. Initially I thought he was being charged with fraud for false advertising but he’s actually being charged for attempting to defraud the government:

A former Oklahoma City police officer was indicted Thursday on accusations of teaching people to cheat on lie detector tests, the government announced Friday.

The 69-year-old Norman, Oklahoma, man is the owner of Polygraph.com and charged customers thousands of dollars for instructions on how to beat lie detector tests administered for federal employment suitability assessments, federal security background investigations, and internal federal agency investigations, court documents show.

According to the five-count indictment [PDF] lodged against Douglas Williams:

The purpose of the scheme was to defraud the United States and to obtain and maintain positions of Federal employment for Williams’ customers for which they did not qualify, and the salary attendant to such positions, through materially false and fraudulent statements and representations. A further purpose of the scheme was for Williams to enrich himself by assisting his customers—including, among others, Federal job applicants, applicants for Federal security clearances, and individuals under investigation by Federal law enforcement agencies—in deceiving the Federal government in order to obtain or maintain positions of Federal employment for which Williams’ customers did not qualify.

If I understand the state’s “logic” it’s claiming that since it uses polygraphs on employees anybody teaching individuals how to pass a polygraph is defrauding the state. Such a case may have some kind of merit if polygraphs actually worked. But they’re bullshit. People, as a group, have no consistent response to lying. The only reason polygraphs are at all effective is because people subjected to polygraph tests believe they’re effective. A skilled operator can convince a person being tested that the machine is telling him something and that’s often enough to get the person to divulge whatever it is they were lying about.

If government agencies are still using polygraphs to test employees then it is entirely at fault for using voodoo to verify the integrity of employees. Anybody teaching people how to pass a polygraph, as opposed to telling people that polygraphs are bullshit, are only guilty of lying by claiming that polygraphs are somehow effective.

Also, as an aside, you cannot defraud a thief and the state is the greatest thief of them all.