The NSA Knows What Kind of Kinky Shit You’re Into

Agents of the National Security Agency (NSA) must either be desperate to find new porn or to blackmail dissidents. Thanks to that wonderful man, Edward Snowden, we have learned that the NSA has been peeping on the porn habits of political dissidents for the expressed purpose of assassinating their characters:

WASHINGTON — The National Security Agency has been gathering records of online sexual activity and evidence of visits to pornographic websites as part of a proposed plan to harm the reputations of those whom the agency believes are radicalizing others through incendiary speeches, according to a top-secret NSA document. The document, provided by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, identifies six targets, all Muslims, as “exemplars” of how “personal vulnerabilities” can be learned through electronic surveillance, and then exploited to undermine a target’s credibility, reputation and authority.

The NSA document, dated Oct. 3, 2012, repeatedly refers to the power of charges of hypocrisy to undermine such a messenger. “A previous SIGINT” — or signals intelligence, the interception of communications — “assessment report on radicalization indicated that radicalizers appear to be particularly vulnerable in the area of authority when their private and public behaviors are not consistent,” the document argues.

This strategy may be effective against religious activists but most of the political dissidents I know are very comfortable with their sexuality and kinks. In fact they’re usually very open about what they’re into, which renders this strategy irrelevant. Still, it’s getting downright comical to see how desperate the state is to maintain its power. Next the NSA is probably going to release a report that claims all political dissidents are rabid consumers of child pornography hoping to discredit them. Fortunately, thanks to Mr. Snowden, we’ll known to call bullshit on any such report.