Category: Humor

Chasing His Tail

Talk about some top notch police work:

The junior officer, who has not been named, was monitoring an area hit by a series of burglaries in an unnamed market town in the country’s south.

As the probationary officer from Sussex Police searched for suspects, the camera operator radioed that he had seen someone “acting suspiciously” in the area.

But he failed to realise that it was actually the plain-clothed officer he was watching on the screen, according to details leaked to an industry magazine.

The operator directed the officer, who was on foot patrol, as he followed the “suspect” on camera last month, telling his colleague on the ground that he was “hot on his heels”.

The officer spent around 20 minutes giving chase before a sergeant came into the CCTV control room, recognised the “suspect” and laughed hysterically at the mistake.

There’s nothing like chasing yourself around for 20 minutes to give you a sense of accomplishment.

Iran is Worried the United States is Building Its 8,500th Nuclear Weapon

With all this concern over Iran building a nuclear weapon we should stop to see if Iran has any concerns. It seems they are a bit concerned about the United States building yet another nuclear weapon:

TEHRAN—Amidst mounting geopolitical tensions, Iranian officials said Wednesday they were increasingly concerned about the United States of America’s uranium-enrichment program, fearing the Western nation may soon be capable of producing its 8,500th nuclear weapon. “Our intelligence estimates indicate that, if it is allowed to progress with its aggressive nuclear program, the United States may soon possess its 8,500th atomic weapon capable of reaching Iran,” said Iranian foreign minister Ali Akbar Salehi, adding that Americans have the fuel, the facilities, and “everything they need” to manufacture even more weapons-grade fissile material.

I actually had to double check to make sure this was an Onion article and not a piece on a regular news site.

26 Things Non-Paul Supporters are Saying

Tom Woods Jr. is great at pointing out logically failures and a rather humorous manner. He has a piece up on his blog explaining 26 things non-Paul supporters are really saying:

(1) The American political establishment has done a super job keeping our country prosperous and our liberties protected, so I’m sure whatever candidate they push on me is probably a good one.

(2) Our country is basically bankrupt. Unfunded entitlement liabilities are in excess of twice world GDP. Therefore, it’s a good idea to vote for someone who offers no specific spending cuts of any kind.

(3) Vague promises to cut spending are good enough for me, even though they have always resulted in higher spending in the past.

(4) I prefer a candidate who plays to the crowd, instead of having the courage to tell his audience things they may not want to hear.

(5) I am deeply concerned about spending. Therefore, I would like to vote for someone who supported Medicare Part D, thereby adding $7 trillion to Medicare’s unfunded liabilities.

It’s a great list and I highly recommend reading it.

God Bless America

Have you ever wanted to see a movie where the protagonist and a young girl go around shooting everybody that pisses them off? If you have I think I’ve found the movie for you:

This looks hilarious, but take into consideration this statement is coming from a guy who thinks the Transformers movies are great cinematography. I’m sure the anti-gunners will get their panties all in a bunch over this movie but I’ve stopped caring what they think long ago.

Newt Gingrich Will Ensure We Win the War

I’m sure you’ve heard about Newt Gingrich’s promise to have colonies established on the moon by 2020 if he’s elected president:

Newt Gingrich is promising to establish a permanent base on the moon by 2020 if he’s elected president.

Many people are just writing this off as kooky but they don’t understand the need. Newt wants to ensure we have what is necessary to fight the moon Nazis:

Newt Gingrich is the only candidate that will protect you and me from the return of the Third Reich.

Today I Learned Firearms Edition

If you visit any gun forums you’ll get your fill of herp and derp. Most of the time the signal to noise ratio is pretty high though so you over look it, not with the Discovery Channel Firearms Forum. From this forum I’ve learned a great many things. For example I learned there is a version of the Galil Rifle I had not previously known about:

I would love to see you guys work with a Galil, personally my favorite is the Galil SAR 7.62 caliber 50-round clip.

First of all the existence of a Galil that feeds from clips was entirely unknown to me. Second it sounds as though the clever creators of this Galil have somehow integrated the clip into the rifle. We also have a kid inquiring about dual wielding AR-10s:

duel ar 10s

the ar 10 is in 308 and to stop the spent shells from hitting the other gun should you use one left handed model on the left so the shells are ejected out eater side

I imagine the AR-10 must be much lighter than my LR308 because I can barely wield that heavy bastard one handed. I’ll have to keep watching that thread to more insider information on dual wielding AR-10s. Have you ever wondered what would happen if you shot a machine gun upside down? No? Well this guy has:

Ok here’s a weird question for everyone.Has anyone out there fired a fully auto gun upside down and if you did, did the barrel feel like it wanted rise up or pull down when it was butted up against your shoulder.Please let me know and have fun with it.I have a feeling that a lot of ammo is going to wasted on this question.

I have a feeling no ammunition will be wasted on that question because you’re going to be hard pressed to find somebody stupid enough to try it. At least I hope you’ll be hard pressed because a whole lot of stupid is involved in that idea. Another kid has an idea that must simply be patented; converting a .50 AE Desert Eagle into a .50 BMG Barret rifle:

I was wondering if you could make a pistol into a rifle.

Like a Dessert Eagle turning into something like a Barrett 50 Cal.

Or a Magnum or another kind of Large Cal. Revolver turning into a rifle.

I’d ask why but I don’t want to know. Have you ever found bullets boring? Did you stop a think, “God I wish my gun show ninja stars!” No? Well then you’re not this guy:

Well, were do i start.
I,ve had this idea for 17 year now.
Sort of a ballesta type rifle that shoots a ninja star. The ninja stars would be a six star type, in a magazine like if in a cd case. As the stars are “hurled” out, the come out spinning.
Now, there should be magazines of about ten or more stars in each. The magazine could be mounted on top and feed the weapon from above. Ive seen these stars with holes in the middle, so the rifle could “grab” the stars by the hole, move it towards the front, then the “pin” lowers, letting the star continue its course.
What do you guys think????

This guy has had this idea for 17 years? That means he has to be at least 17 years but more likely he’s notably older as cognitive capabilities don’t develop when we’re first born. Still if somebody is 17 years-old and still thinks this is a good idea then… well then it’s just sad.

I could go on but I think I’ve made my point. The derp is extremely strong with this forum and is bursting with comedy gold. You don’t even need to dig, just look at the surface and you’ll find stuff to laugh (or sigh) at! The absolute lack of proper spelling and grammar is also oddly funny and depressing at the same time.

Vermin Supreme 2012

It’s no secret that I’m a big Ron Paul supporter but I think I may have found a presidential candidate that would be even better. Vermin Supreme describes himself as a friendly fascist who will promise is constituents everything because he has no intention of ever delivering on those promises. He also advocates giving every American a pony, a plan nobody could refute in its wisdom and clarity: