Category: Humor

Burn

This post really has nothing to do with anybody but the subject matter amused me. I love it when somebody delivers a great comeback such as this one:

Today, Contessa “educated” a conservative Representative that without the bailout, the country would be in “a depression.” Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL) said he disagreed which prompted the MSNBC host to ask him if he had a degree in economics.

“Yes ma’am, I do. Highest honors,” Rep. Brooks responded.

According to his Congressional page: “Mo graduated from Duke University in three years with a double major in political science and economics, with highest honors in economics. In 1978, he graduated from the University of Alabama Law School.”

That would be like asking Wernher von Braun if he was a rocket scientist. If you’re going to insult somebody’s credentials you would do well to first find out what that person’s credentials actually are.

Larry Correia Brings On The Funny

I really love Larry Correnia’s blog because he has a way with words. It’s almost as though he is an author of some really awesome books or something. Obama warned that New York Times bestselling authors (who he implied are as rich as hedge fund managers) aren’t off the hook when it comes to paying their taxes. Larry finally spills the beans:

Now you know the truth. A secret cabal of bestselling writers has been sabotaging the US economy all this time. Sure, you may have thought that our situation was caused by stuff like out of control government spending, or onerous regulations, or our complete lack of coherent energy policy, or the devaluation of the dollar, or people/companies living beyond their means and then expecting the tax payers to bail them out, or entitlements that are mathematically impossible to pay, or employers being afraid to hire because of fear of ObamaCare and coming taxes, or the quadrupling of our debt over the last couple of years, but NO. That would be silly!

It has been because of us bestselling authors all along.

My favorite quote from his post though is this one:

Michael Crichton was presiding (he’s not really dead, he just didn’t want to fill out his 1040ES for that quarter’s royalties).

So there is hope for a third Jurassic Park! My day has been made and all is good in the world again.

My Sister is Awesome

So I posted the following on Facebook:

Now that Osama is dead dead does that mean we will finally get out of Afghanistan? I mean wasn’t he the reason we supposedly went there?

And the first reply I get is the following from my sister:

No, we gotta find Mecha-Osama now.

I wonder what our parents did that managed to raise two completely sarcastic asses.

Rand Paul Delivers a Political Bitch Slap to Donald Trump

I’m liking Rand Paul more and more every day. Today I must say I like him because he can really deliver an old fashioned politial bitch slap:

“I’ve come to New Hampshire today because I’m very concerned,” Paul said. “I want to see the original long-form certificate, with embossed seal, of Donald Trump’s Republican registration.”

“Seriously don’t you think we need to see that?” he said, adding that Trump had donated to Democrats such as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

Hilarious.

Quote of the Day

I don’t do quote of the day type posts often but this quote in reference to the War on Drugs was golden:

If the Government gave a fuck about being consistent… shouldn’t Marijuana be considered an endangered species at this point? Shouldn’t it be protected by the EPA? It’s amazing so many people are comfortable hunting that particular species to extinction… but when we at Absolute Despotism propose using the Navy to hunt sharks to extinction, or fire bombing the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Operation “Caribou Holocaust” we’re the assholes?

Kids Say The Damnedest Things

This is why you don’t let your kids overhear things:

Police officers in Austin, Texas, say they were questioning a woman about some outstanding warrants when she began acting suspicious — eventually prompting her 3-year-old son to ask if they had “found his mom’s weed,” MyFoxAustin.com reports.

I have nothing snide to add, this story is funny enough already.