Tag: Random Funny Shit

I Can’t Tell You How Many Times I’ve Wanted to Do This

Just read the first paragraph of this article:

A Salt Lake City mortgage company employee allegedly got drunk, opened fired on his firm’s computer server with a .45-caliber automatic, and then told police someone had stolen his gun and caused the damage.

Minus the getting drunk and accusing somebody stole my gun this paragraph really describes one of my dreams, shooting a server. Of course I wouldn’t lie about what happened unlike this drunkard mentioned in the story:

A probable cause statement alleges that Campbell told police he had been “mugged, assaulted with his own firearm and drugged” by a mystery assailant.

Yeah because that’s certainly a believable story. Pro tip here, if you’re going to make up a story in an attempt to lie to the police make it a believable one. Better yet don’t have a gun one you while you’re drunk.

Why I Love Gunnies

I love being a gunnie because we’re all sarcastic pricks. Borepatch points out a thread on AR15.com where an author made the following request:

For a book that I am writing, I am interested in meeting/interviewing people who cache weapons. To get a sense of who I am and where I come from, look at www.danbaum.com, and also see the August issue of Harper’s magazine, where I wrote a piece about concealed carry. If you’re interested in talking to me, please email danbaum@me.com. Thank you.

No I’m not taking the time to remove his e-mail address, I don’t protect the stupid. Of course he got the standard response which was ridicule and members digging up the author’s anti-gun background.

On MNGunTalk we have a fellow drop by with the following request:

hey there. I have been assigned a project for my social behaviors class that involves me examIning a subculture of modern day society. I figured what better subculture to study than that of the gun buff. What i need to find out is what draws people to your subculture, what esablishes leaders and influances power withing said subculture, and any flaws or drawbacks caused from being in this cultural group. So i guess what i need from you guys is your input on these questions. if you could help me out that would be great. at the end of the study this will all be compiled into a final research paper that i will turn in for a grade. thank you.

We’ve been giving him the standard response of sarcasm and correcting his atrocious spelling and grammar. This is why I love the gun community, everybody is a prick so I fit right in.

Man Made Climate Change

Apparently we humans have actually caused climate change. Need proof? Well this Russian guy has it:

In the article, Areshev voiced suspicions about the High-Frequency Active Aural Research Program (HAARP), funded by the U.S. Defense Department and the University of Alaska.

HAARP, which has long been the target of conspiracy theorists, analyzes the ionosphere and seeks to develop technologies to improve radio communications, surveillance, and missile detection.

Areshev writes, however, that its true aim is to create new weapons of mass destruction “in order to destabilize environmental and agricultural systems in local countries.”

Well with such a plausible idea like that I guess we need to start believing the greenies. Too bad for them simply driving hybrids isn’t going to fix it.

Seriously I love Russian conspiracies, they’re always hilarious.

Historical Irony

I’ve been reading Texian Illiad (not an affiliate link) by Stephen L. Hardin. It’s a history of the Texas fight against Mexico for independence. Overall it’s a pretty good read. Alas there is some fine irony mentioned in the book.

Mexico was having trouble getting people to colonize the northern Texas area so they started making deals. Basically you could nab some free (in price and tax) land by settling in specific regions. American citizens of course took Mexico up on this offer which was the basic idea. Well apparently a lot of Americans just started showing up and settling in without getting the proper paperwork from the Mexican government. One of the biggest concerns for the Mexican government was the illegal immigrants from America.

Oh how I love irony!