My Modest Proposal

Every election seems wrought with accusations of corruption. The Republicans blame the Democrats and the Democrats blame the Republicans. Accusations of the Federal Elections Commission (FEC) being controlled by the Republican and Democrat parties and therefore biased against third-parties are often brought up. Republicans tell their supporters to be election judges to protect against tampering by Democrats while Democrats tell their supporters to be election judges to protect against tampering by Republicans. The losing party in an election will often accuse the winning party of committing election fraud and begin an expensive recount and possible court battle.

It’s easy to see why all of these accusations are thrown around, both parties are extremely biased. As a general rule it’s a bad idea to have biased entities in control of events they have vested interests in. Having political parties in control of elections is a recipe for disaster and that diaster hurts the genera populace more than anybody. These squabbles almost always end in expensive state solutions, court battles, and recounts. None of those actions are productive in any way yet syphon money from other state tasks like building drones and enforcing decrees that prohibit victimless crimes.

Since I hate seeing inefficiency and suffering I have a moderst proposal of my own, put us anarchists in charge of running elections. As a general rule we don’t really care about elections, we realize that we’re going to get fucked either way. Whether a Republicrat or a Depublican win is irrelevant to us. For many of us elections are mostly a form of amusement, similar to baseball, and the outcome truly has no consequence.

You don’t have to worry about us being biased against third-parties because we usually have more in common with third-parties than the Republican and Democratic parties. There is no need to worry about doling out more campaign money to one part over another because we don’t want to give any money to any party. Voters can rest assured that nonpartisans are overseeing each polling place and counting the votes. We can’t be accused of committing election fraud to ensure victory for our candidate because we don’t have a candidate. It’s win/win for everybody involved, with the possible exception of us but we’re willing to make a few sacrifices to help alleviate your suffering because we’re generous and kind.