You Guide to Today’s Election

Throughout much of the country people are rushing to (OK, trickling into) their designated state worship facilities. Here they will perform the statist pagan ritual of voting. What is voting? I’ll let Uncle Spidy explain it :

Yes, you’re effectively going to the polls to say you want to watch television while everybody else is voting to fuck you with switchblades. To that end I have prepared a voting guide for my fellow Minnesotans.

The only notable race being discussed is the Minneapolis mayoral race. If you’re going to vote please note that the only candidate on that long list of candidates that’s awesome is Kurtis Hanna. He’s running under the Pirate Party banner and was the executive director of Minnesota National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (MNNORML). Having a mayor that wants to change intellectual property laws and legalize cannabis is about as awesome as you can get. Also, he’s a personal friend of mine, which automatically makes him awesome.

Denizens of Minneapolis and St. Paul both get to experience ranked choice voting. What is ranked choice voting. It’s a system that allows you to pick candidates in order of preference. I could spend a great deal of time explaining how it works but I’ll cut through the bullshit and give you the short answer. Ranked choice voting is a scam that makes people believe their third party candidate can win an election. In actuality ranked choice voting is nothing more than a more complicated way for the two parties to maintain their power (or, in the case of Minneapolis, for the Democrats to maintain their power since the Republicans haven’t won a mayoral election there since the ’60’s).

What else can I say? Honestly, stay home. You chances of getting killed in a car accident on your way to the polling place is far greater than the chance that your vote is going to make any difference. As I said yesterday, we’re not voting our way out of this. Instead of wasting time at the polling place do something productive. Read a book, look into agorism, go to the range, or wash your hair. Let’s stop playing their game and play our own. After all, it is the 5th of November. We should be celebrate the holiday appropriately, which involves drinking and bonfires, not voting.