Category: Wall of Fame Assholes

How Much Did This Acronym Cost

The amount of time that is spent by our government coming up with retarded acronyms must be astounding. If you thought Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism, or USA PATRIOT, Act was bad wait until you get a load of the new name for the formerly PROTECT IP Act:

Oh, and because PROTECT IP wasn’t enough of a misleading and idiotic name, the House has upped the ante. The new bill is called: “the Enforcing and Protecting American Rights Against Sites Intent on Theft and Exploitation Act” or the E-PARASITE Act (though, they also say you can call it the “Stopping Online Piracy Act”).

Emphasis mine. Somebody in Washington D.C. is getting paid to come up with this shit. Our tax money is being spent to come up with catchy fucking names to make bills sound more appealing and thus get popular support when it goes to pass. These are probably the same fucks who were paid to come up with the PROTECT Act which is a backwards acronym for Prosecutorial Remedies and Other Tools to end the Exploitation of Children Today.

If those idiots in Washington spent half as much time educating themselves on the subjects they’re passing laws against as they do coming up with stupid acronyms we may have a free country built on liberty instead of a fascist state.

Oh, and you know what else? The PROTECT IP E-PARASITE Act is still a horrible piece of shit. You can’t polish a turd and expect anything other than a turd when you’re finished.

That’s Not Helping Your Cause

There are many ways to garner support for a movement; you can appeal to peoples’ sympathy, education the masses, or provide charity to those in need. One thing is for certain though, making live miserable for the average person is only going to generate resentment and hard feelings. It appears that a portion of the OccupyMN participants have decided that support is overrated and instead decided making life miserable for commuters was jolly good fun:

Seven OccupyMN demonstrators have been arrested for blocking traffic today after refusing to leave tents set up in the middle of the intersection of 6th Street S. and 3rd Av. S.

Yeah, because blocking an intersection with tents is such a grant idea. While those hauled off by the police probably think they were making a statement and people will flock to their aid after seeing peaceful protesters arrested the reality is far different. By blocking traffic these protesters have made themselves noticeable pains in the ass for the average person who probably hadn’t taken sides yet. When you become a pain in the ass people want you to go away so getting arrested in this case will probably be met with cheers instead of outrage by average commuters.

Civil disobedience only works if you have a large enough number of people on your side. Smoke outs work well because most people see little reason why somebody smoking marijuana should spend time in jail at taxpayer expense. This is because most people haven’t been negatively affected by somebody smoking marijuana. On the other hand if somebody was mugged by a person who just toked up there is a high chance the victim will develop a resentment towards marijuana smokers.

I’ve said many times that I’m glad to see people pissed off enough to make a statement. With that said if you’re going to make a statement you should probably try to make a positive one less people start becoming OK with the idea of cops in riot gear marching into your occupation launching tear gas and beating ass with batons.

Police Officer Removed from Obama Visit Because Guns are Apparently Scary

Before I make any comment on this story let me first point out a big of fear mongering performed by the article’s author:

THE US Secret Service removed a woman with a gun from the audience minutes before President Barack Obama was due to speak to a crowd at Greensville County High School in Virginia yesterday.

Oh my god! A woman with a gun near the President? Obviously she must have been a crazy tea party participant! It’s a good thing the Secret Service moved in to stop this obviously violent individual… wait what:

The woman was not considered a personal threat to the US President – she was a uniformed African-American police officer from the local Greensville County Sheriff’s office.

False alarm everybody, the woman was a cop and they’re good enough to carry a gun and not be scary. The reason she was removed makes no sense whatsoever:

But her presence as an audience member standing with friends close to the stage where Mr Obama would soon speak about his jobs plan was a serious security lapse following supposedly thorough crowd screening.

The risk for the Secret Service, which is responsible for protecting the President, was that another person could have grabbed the pistol from her belt holster.

Right… because a person couldn’t grab a gun from one of the Secret Service members? What they really meant to say is that they removed the woman from the audience because the Secret Service like to feel big and tough by claiming they’re the only ones qualified to protect the President. A simpleton police officer is obviously only good enough to protect the peasantry.

It’s good to see actors of the state are completely assholes to one another and not just us.

What is it With Police and Shooting Dogs

It seems like every SWAT raid story involves members of said SWAT team shooting the home owner’s dog for no apparent reason. Well it’s not just the SWAT team that has a joyous time killing harmless animals; the Langrange, Missouri police department decided it would be a jolly good time to shoot a restrained dog that was passively lying on the ground while wagging its tail. The following is video footage of the event:

What a bunch of disgusting fuckers. My hope is that this video goes viral and the officer that shot the dog is fired (I’d also hope he is brought up on charges but alas that might be asking for the absolute impossible). A tip of the old hat goes to Uncle for this.

Why Not, We’ve Limited Every Other Right

Is it bad when our “representatives” are so brazen in their hatred for our supposedly constitutionally guaranteed rights that they flat out say we should reinterpret those rights as privileges? I think it’s bad and that’s exactly what they’re doing:

Proponents of a more refined First Amendment argue that this freedom should be treated not as a right but as a privilege — a special entitlement granted by the state on a conditional basis that can be revoked if it is ever abused or maltreated.

Wow… I’m really at a loss for words. Can you imagine what would happen if you could only exercise speech at the blessing of the state? This blog would be gone in a heartbeat along with, likely, 99% of the other gun blogs. The Mises Institute would likely get the gag order along with Reason Magazine and every other publication that dares criticize the government.

Then again the government has already turned every so-called right into a privilege that requires state approval to exercise so why not speech? While we’re at it why not require passports to travel between the various states of the Union? Perhaps the government could install cameras in every home to ensure nothing seditious is taking place within.

Make no mistake, unless people demonstrate visible outrage over statements like this the critters in Congress will think they can get away with acting on these statements.

What We Need is Another War

In a page torn straight from 1984, Senator Lindsey Graham said that we need to defend our ally Afghanistan against our enemy Pakistan:

A Republican on the Senate Armed Services Committee said Sunday that the U.S. should consider military action against Pakistan if it continues to support terrorist attacks against American troops in Afghanistan.

“The sovereign nation of Pakistan is engaging in hostile acts against the United States and our ally Afghanistan that must cease, Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina told “Fox News Sunday.”

What in the Hell did I miss? I thought Afghanistan was our enemy and that’s why we invaded their country. Wasn’t Pakistan our ally? Were we always at war with Eastasia? On top of that we’ve been taking military action against Pakistan for quite some time now. Somebody needs to stop these imperialist pieces of shit before we go the way of the Romans and collapse under our own military weight.

Man Punished for Accidentally Pointing Out TSA’s Security Theater

It is well established throughout the security industry that the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is nothing but security theater. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anybody who has done even a little research into government provided “service.” While a private entity has to worry about being fired if they do a poor job the government has no such worry so they can continue to do a poor job and get away with it.

Thor help you though if you’re a person who accidentally got through the TSA theater and later try to turn over the goods that weren’t supposed to be in the airport “secure” area:

Most people are familiar with that moment of panic at an airport security checkpoint when they remember something that won’t pass a screening, but for one Minnesota man, telling the Transportation Security Agency that a live round passed through twice by mistake got him in trouble.

[…]

Yet, when a Rochester man was allowed to bring a live 9mm round through no fewer than two security checkpoints, he was interrogated when he innocently tried to turn it over.

[…]

After turning the bullet over to the TSA voluntarily, Koenig was pulled off his flight and questioned for nearly 30 minutes.

As for why the round was in his pocket at all, Koenig said he was at the pistol range for target shooting the last time he wore that jacket and simply forgot it was there.

This sounds like typical government thinking. First you put a security system that is designed improperly from the start, then somebody accidentally gets through the poorly designed security system carrying something that was on the verboten list, and finally the man realizes what has happened and goes to turn over the verboten good only to be punished by the government goons who fucked up in the first place.

Also let’s put this entire thing into perspective. The man managed to accidentally get through the TSA theater with a single round of live 9mm ammunition. He didn’t have a launching platform for that round on him so the cartridge was mostly harmless. Why a TSA agent didn’t just say, “Heh, we missed that, thanks for letting us know.” instead of interrogating an innocent man for half an hour is beyond my ability to comprehend. There again what else should we expect from a government agent? Innocent people are almost always the ones punished when government agents screw up.

Making Minneapolis a Better Place by Stealing Bicycles

Do you know what a noble cause is? Speaking out against unjust wars. Of course if you do this in Minneapolis while one of the “ambassadors” of the Minneapolis Downtown Improvement District (DID) are around you’ll likely have your bike stolen:

They’re private employees working for a non-profit, Minneapolis Downtown Improvement District, and their job is to help make downtown “cleaner, safer, greener and better in order to achieve a more vital and vibrant downtown.” They’re called “ambassadors,” and according to DID are supposed to be the “friendly faces” of the city.

But you wouldn’t know it from watching a video of two DID “ambassadors” harassing an anti-war protestor who was chalking the sidewalk in front of the FBI building on Friday night. The ambassador came up and snatched her bike, claiming it had been “abandoned,” threatened her for “defacing public property,” and said he could have her arrested for cursing.

Isn’t it interesting when somebody decides they now have the state’s power to steal property from private individuals? Here, watch some thievery in action:

My favorite part is when the “ambassador” claimed that he could have Melissa Hill (the owners of the bike) arrested for cursing. Guess what? If somebody could be arrested for cursing I’d be in jail right fucking now. On the upside this idiot was at least stripped of his fancy title of “ambassador” even though he may keep his job with the hiring company:

Apparently the employee gave the bike back to her after the video was taken — but the damage to his career was done.

DID Chief Operating Officer Sarah Harris complained to Block by Block, a Kentucky vendor that technically employed the “ambassador,” and he has since been stripped of his yellow jacket. It is unclear if he will continue to work for Block by Block.

So remember when you’re in Minneapolis you may have your property stolen by the person that are tasked with making you feel welcome. This is one of the reasons why I rarely venture into that forsaken city.

Another Reason to Avoid the Mall of America

If you’re like me then you hate the Mall of America. The place is a cesspool of boring and overpriced stores with little in the way of worthwhile destinations (there is a Barnes and Nobel and an Apple Store I guess). Well if not having anything worth your time isn’t reason enough to avoid that place how about their “security” theater which targets innocent people for no reason other than allowing the security guards to feel high and mighty while they throw their authority around:

Mall of America officials say their security unit stops and questions on average 1,200 people each year. The interviews at the mall are part of a counterterrorism initiative that acts as the private eyes and ears of law enforcement authorities but has often ensnared innocent people, according to an investigation by the Center for Investigative Reporting and NPR.

In many cases, the written reports were filed without the knowledge of those interviewed by security. Several people named in the reports learned from journalists that their birth dates, race, names of employers and other personal information were compiled along with surveillance images.

Not only will the security guards harass you but they will also record any personal information that you give them. Here’s an important piece of information to note, mall security are not real police officers and you are under no obligation to humor their demands. While a real police officer has the power to arrest you if you don’t bend to their will mall security guards can only ask that you leave and call the real cops if you refuse.

There is no reason you should talk to a mall security guard whatsoever. If you find yourself in the Mall of American know two things; first there is a light rail terminal downstairs which can get you the fuck out of there and second should a guard come up and talk to you say nothing and leave the building. Anything you say will likely be recorded and placed on their records for all time. I should also note that the Bloomington Police Department does have a station inside of the mall so it takes no time at all for the mall security guards to get a real cop on the scene but there isn’t much they can do to you if you’re leaving.

Emperor Obama

The head asshole in Washing D.C. isn’t even trying to hide his delusions of emperorship anymore. From a live blog I was able to pull out parts of Obama’s speech he gave last night (because I certainly wasn’t going to waste my time watching that dumb ass like on television) and the following statement from him almost floored me:

What kind of country would this be if this chamber had voted down Social Security or Medicare just because it violated some rigid idea about what government could or could not do?

We’d have a country of law, opportunity, and liberty. I honestly can’t believe (OK I can believe it but I don’t want to) that an elected official would be so brazen as to openly state on public television that he doesn’t give two fucks what the laws say government can and can’t do. He might as well have flat out said, “Fuck the Constitution, I’ll do whatever the Hell I want and you stupid peasants are going to like it!”

What else did the chief asshole say? Well This quote was interesting:

Obama again stirs the pot with the GOP, noting that Abraham Lincoln – the first Republican president — also “mobilized government to build the transcontinental railroad; launch the National Academy of Sciences; and set up the first land grant colleges.”

He also mobilized a nation to invade another nation which killed hundreds of thousands of American citizens just so he could keep his petty little union in place. And the first person to say he did it to free the slaves can take a seat over in the corner because you get a timeout for not knowing your American history. If you actually read the Emancipation Proclamation you’ll note that it would have only freed the slaves in seceded states (not the Northern slave states) if they didn’t return to the Union by January 1863. It was a purely political move to coax the Confederate states into returning to the Union.

Our chief asshole also introduced his new legislation, the American Jobs Act, which he urged Congress to pass without reading just like he urged them to pass his Health Insurance Company Enrichment Act:

Some of you have sworn oaths to never raise any taxes on anyone for as long as you live. Now is not the time to carve out an exception and raise middle-class taxes, which is why you should pass this bill right away.

Emphasis mine. Personally I’d like our “representatives” to actually read the damned bill before taking any action. Likewise if that bill does anything besides getting the government out of the economy it will be pointless and shouldn’t be passed.

Obama should write a book titled I’m Above the Law: Why the Rules Don’t Apply to Me.