Your Government Doesn’t Love You – Page 132

The ATF Doesn’t Acknowledge Meat Popsicle as a Race

Race is a hot issue as of late (truthfully race has been a hot issue throughout the history of the United States). Between the propensity of police officers in certain cities targeting people of certain races with much higher frequency and whether or not there’s enough diversity in the technology market everybody is talking about race. That’s probably why the Washington Times is finally asking why the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (ATF) is asking everybody purchasing a gun from a federally licensed dealer what their race is:

With little fanfare, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) in 2012 amended its Form 4473 — the transactional record the government requires gun purchasers and sellers to fill out when buying a firearm — to identify buyers as either Hispanic, Latino or not. Then a buyer must check his or her race: Indian, Asian, black, Pacific Islander or white.

The amendment is causing a headache for gun retailers, as each box needs to be checked off or else it’s an ATF violation — severe enough for the government to shut a business down. Many times people skip over the Hispanic/Latino box and only check their race, or vice versa — both of which are federal errors that can be held against the dealer.

Requiring the race and ethnic information of gun buyers is not required by federal law and provides little law enforcement value, legal experts say. And gun industry officials worry about how the information is being used and whether it constitutes an unnecessary intrusion on privacy.

I have two theories regarding this. My first theory has to do with Operation Fast and Furious, the ATF operation to smuggle guns to Mexican drug cartels. Perhaps asking whether the gun purchaser is Hispanic is a way to speed up searches for Fast and Furious-related firearms. OK, I’m partially joking about that. My actual theory is that the ATF is demanding to know each buyer’s race for the same reason it asks each buyer if they’re prohibited form owning a firearm: the government likes to collect information redundantly. When you submit to a background check your personal information, including full legal name and current address, are submitted to the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI). That information should be enough for the FBI to do a search for you in its database. If your name comes up all of your identifying information is already available to the agency since it was recorded during your arrest or involuntarily confinement to a mental health ward.

It’s the same stupidity that forces you to fill out paperwork when filing your taxes. The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) already has all of the information it need to send you a bill since your employer is so helpful to withhold taxes from your paycheck. There’s no need for you to fill out any tax forms other than deductions. But the IRS isn’t efficient by anybody’s regard so it demands you provide it with the information it already has access to because that’s how government works.

For Being an Anit-Gun Paradise California Sure is a Militarized State

California is a hostile place to live if you’re a gun owner. The state is placed number one on the Brady Campaign’s State Score Card list [PDF], which is based on how many stupid gun control laws each state has on the books. You would think that a state so hostile to gun ownership would be a devoid of militarism. But that’s not the case. In fact California lays claim to the only be the only state that I’m aware of where school districts own armored personnel carriers:

News that San Diego Unified School District has acquired an MRAP, or mine-resistant ambush protected vehicle, is adding a new facet to discussions about the practice of giving surplus military equipment to civilian agencies.

The six-wheel Caiman MRAP has an official value of around $733,000. But the San Diego school district paid only about $5,000 to transport it, according to inewsource.org, a website that partners with NPR member station KPBS.

$5,000 could buy a lot of text books and that price doesn’t cover the yearly upkeep fees and cost to fuel the machine. Why did the district feel it was a good use of its money to buy an armored personnel carrier instead of equipment to better enable education? Probably because schools are more closely reflecting prisons every day and to complete the image districts need a way of rounding up truant students in the same way prisons round up escaped convicts. But San Diego doesn’t have the title of most militarized school district. That title belongs to the Los Angeles Unified School District:

os Angeles Unified school police officials said Tuesday that the department will relinquish some of the military weaponry it acquired through a federal program that furnishes local law enforcement with surplus equipment. The move comes as education and civil rights groups have called on the U.S. Department of Defense to halt the practice for schools.

The Los Angeles School Police Department, which serves the nation’s second-largest school system, will return three grenade launchers but intends to keep 61 rifles and a Mine Resistant Ambush Protected armored vehicle it received through the program.

An armored personnel carrier and surplus military rifles (later in the story it notes that the rifles were converted to semi-automatic)? Talk about rounding up students in style! But the district did return the grenade launchers, I guess it realized that most parties sent to round up convicts don’t usually bring heavy ordinance.

The San Diego district justified its purchase of the armored personnel carrier by saying it is for search and rescue and that the behemoth will be loaded with medical supplies. I guess the district has some policy against calling an ambulance, which is loaded with medical supplies and comes equipped with trained medical personnel. The Los Angeles district didn’t beat around the bush, it went straight for the school shooting scare excuse. Of course the Los Angeles Police Department was the first department in the country to have a Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) team and is well known for being extremely militarized already. Why the school district believes it needs its own team when it can call in the LAPD is beyond me, especially when you look at the statistics and see how rare school shootings actually are (which isn’t to say they don’t happen but the risk doesn’t warrant the establishment of a separate SWAT team for the district).

Truthfully these school districts are just following in the footsteps of police departments throughout the country. The federal government is giving away free or near free shit to local government agencies and those agencies are snapping it up like a shopper snapping up shit they weren’t going to buy until it they say that it was marked down for the store’s going out of business sale. In other words the government, by subsidizing the purchase of military equipment, has further distorted the market by making the military equipment look more appealing than shit local agencies could actually use (like, say, deescalation training for police officers).

Be Careful When Defending Your Home

I’m guessing, based on what I commonly write about, most of you reading this post have some kind of home defense plan. If you don’t waiting until somebody is kicking down your door at oh dark thirty probably isn’t the best time to develop one. But whether you already have a plan or are developing a plan make sure you keep one thing in mind: if the thugs kicking down your door at 05:30 unannounced are wearing a badge you may be killed even if you survive the initial ordeal:

Prosecutors will seek the death penalty against a man charged in the shooting death of a veteran Killeen police officer.

Marvin Louis Guy, 49, has been indicted for capital murder in the shooting death of police Detective Charles “Chuck” Dinwiddie, 47, and is named in indictments charging three counts of attempted capital murder, as well.

During a hearing Thursday, Bell County District Attorney Henry Garza said he’ll seek the death penalty.

The charges stem from a shooting, which occurred as officers served a so-called no-knock search warrant just after 5:30 a.m. May 9 at 1104 Circle M Dr. Apt. 3 in Killeen.

In other words you better have some good fucking night visions because you can’t safely assume that just because somebody is kicking down your door in the wee hours of the morning that you have a valid self-defense claim. If you fail to see those little badges and assume the invaders are non-state thugs and thus believe you can defend yourself you may very well end up facing the death penalty.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, after 12 rigorous hours of searching the home the police didn’t find any drugs.

The Extent of American Militarism

The United States has a wicked hammer called the military. And like most people who only have a hammer the United States sees every problem as a nail. This has been apparent in the country’s foreign relations, which more closely resemble an extremely abusive relationship than a healthy marriage (it only bombs you because it loves you). But this seeing everything as nails problem has gone to a level of absurdity. As the fear of Ebola virus causes people around the world to piss their pants the United States government has stepped forth to reassure the fearful that it has the answer. And that answer is a world renowned team of viral experts who are being given access to whatever resources they need to defeat this virus! Just kidding. The answer, as always, is the military:

President Barack Obama has called the West Africa Ebola outbreak “a threat to global security” as he announced a larger US role in fighting the virus.

“The world is looking to the United States,” Mr Obama said, but added the outbreak required a “global response”.

The measures announced included ordering 3,000 US troops to the region and building new healthcare facilities.

I guess the plan is to just shoot the virus. That should work. After all the United States is, like, totally not using this outbreak as an excuse to increase its military presence in Africa so it can get to the continent’s resources before China.

The Double Standards of Police Dogs

It’s no secret that police officers love executing dogs. In fact officers murdering dogs has become so common that there’s a term for it: puppycide. What makes matters worse is that officers who shoot a dog seldom face any consequences. On the other hand if you shoot a police dog the wrath and fury of Hell itself will fall upon you. This is one of those fun double standards that are common in police states. Once you pin a badge to something it suddenly becomes more important than the commoners. But what happens when a badged creature kills another badged creature? What if a police dog is killed by a police officer due to that officer’s negligence? It’s a question many have probably wondered but now we know:

DUPLIN COUNTY, NC (WWAY) — A Duplin County Sheriff’s K-9 died last month after sitting in a hot squad car all night.

The sheriff disciplined Kela’s handler, but the punishment is not as harsh as some people think it should be.

“I just think it’s crazy, because they get on everyone else for leaving their animals in the car and dying, and they want to throw them in jail, but they can’t do nothing about their own officer that kills one of their K9s,” Duplin County resident Michael Foss said.

All badges are equal, but some badges are more equal than others. It seems that a police dog is a sworn officer unless it’s killed by a human police officer. So now we know that a badged dog is worth more than a commoner but a badged human is worth more than a badged dog.

Canadians Warned About Traveling Into the United Police States of America

Us Americans love bragging about living in the freest goddamn country on Earth. And woe is the poor son of a bitch who crosses a self-proclaimed patriot by saying the United States aren’t actually very free. But when you have people in neighboring countries warning their fellow citizens not to enter the United States with large amounts of cash less some police officer confiscates it using civil forfeiture laws, well, you can’t make too many claims about being a free country:

On its official website, the Canadian government informs its citizens that “there is no limit to the amount of money that you may legally take into or out of the United States.” Nonetheless, it adds, banking in the U.S. can be difficult for non-residents, so Canadians shouldn’t carry large amounts of cash.

That last bit is excellent advice, but for an entirely different reason than the one Ottawa cites.

There’s a shakedown going on in the U.S., and the perps are in uniform.

Across America, law enforcement officers — from federal agents to state troopers right down to sheriffs in one-street backwaters — are operating a vast, co-ordinated scheme to grab as much of the public’s cash as they can; “hand over fist,” to use the words of one police trainer.

The article then goes on to explain the scam, which everybody in this country should be aware of. Basically civil forfeiture laws allow an officer to confiscate any property that they claim to believe is tied to a drug crime. No charges have to be made against you for the office to take your shit and the burden of proving the property isn’t related to a drug crime is entirely on you. And since it’s impossible to prove with absolute certainty that your property isn’t tied to a drug crime you’re fucked.

The author of the article, Neil Macdonald, has some good advice for any Canadian traveling into the United Police States of America (and this advice is good to heed if you’re living here as well):

So, for any law-abiding Canadian thinking about an American road trip, here’s some non-official advice:

Avoid long chats if you’re pulled over. Answer questions politely and concisely, then persistently ask if you are free to go.

Don’t leave litter on the vehicle floor, especially energy drink cans.

Don’t use air or breath fresheners; they could be interpreted as an attempt to mask the smell of drugs.

Don’t be too talkative. Don’t be too quiet. Try not to wear expensive designer clothes. Don’t have tinted windows.

And for heaven’s sake, don’t consent to a search if you are carrying a big roll of legitimate cash.

As the Canadian government notes, there is no law against carrying it here or any legal limit on how much you can carry. But if you’re on an American roadway with a full wallet, in the eyes of thousands of cash-hungry cops you’re a rolling ATM.

Remember that the police are not your friends. Their job is to extort wealth from you. Treat them just like any other violent criminal. Give them a wide berth and if you have to interact with them say as little as you can and try to make the interaction as short as possible.

We Really Hate Iraq

Reason has what would be comedy gold if it didn’t involve so many people dying. As we wind up for yet another war in Iraq it’s a good time to stop and reflect on our history with that little chunk of land. Let’s take a look at what our previous presidents have said about Iraq, going all the way back to the first Bush. You’ll notice a common theme:

Did last night’s primetime presidential speech announcing expanding authorization for airstrikes in Iraq and Syria feel kind of familiar? Like you’ve heard it before?

That’s probably because you have. You’ve been hearing for more than two decades, from presidents on both sides of political aisle. At this point, bombing Iraq is practically a American presidential tradition.

And, via the magic of YouTube and The Huffington Post‘s Sam Stein, you can watch every president back to the first George Bush announce a new plan to launch military strikes in Iraq.

I’m not sure what our fascination with bombing people in that very specific region is but ordering it has basically become a right of passage for presidents. If only the people living there would stop hating us for bombing them!

Hawaii is Working to Solve Its Homeless Problem

Without government who would harass the homeless? In the state’s never ending war against those who don’t have homes the areas of the United States that remain warm all year around are at a major disadvantage. First there is no harsh winter to cause the homeless enough discomfort to convince them to go elsewhere. Second they’re usually tourist hotbeds and having homeless people in tourist hotbed just makes your city look tacky. Hawaii is especially hard hit because it’s war all year, a tourist hotbed, and there’s really nowhere for the homeless to go. But that hasn’t stopped the Honolulu City Council from trying to chase the homeless off:

HONOLULU (AP) — The Honolulu City Council approved several measures Wednesday aimed at moving homeless people out of tourist hotspots in Hawaii, including one that bans sitting and lying down on sidewalks in the popular Waikiki area.

But a separate push to prevent homeless people from resting on sidewalks throughout the rest of the island failed.

The council has been under pressure from the tourism industry to act, with hotel representatives saying visitors complain often about safety and human waste.

You have to hand it to government, when the politically connected talk the government listens! It also goes to show how government solve problems. With all of the money being stolen by the Honolulu City Council you would think it would try building homeless shelters or operating programs to help homeless people get back on their feet. But that’s not the case. Instead the government passes laws that make being homeless a crime, effectively telling all homeless people to “Get a home!”

A Special Fear Day Announcement for Retail Workers

On this most frightful Fear Day the Department of ~~Motherland~~ ~~Fatherland~~ Homeland Security (DHS) has a very special message for those of you working retail:

Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson said his department will be issuing new guidance to retailers this week giving them pointers on how to spot potential terrorists among their customers by looking at what they’re buying.

While saying the government cannot prohibit sales of some everyday materials, Mr. Johnson said retailers should be trained to look for anyone who buys a lot from what he described as a “long list of materials that could be used as explosive precursors.”

That’s right, those of you working retail our this country’s first line of defense! It is you who can identify terrorists buying supplies to build bombs! It is you who can report all suspicious persons to Big Brother! It is you who can save the lives of your fellow countrymen before some terrorist shitbag has a chance to act! The safety of our entire nation now rests of your ever vigilant shoulders!

So what sorts of things should a vigilant retail employee look for? How about pressure cookers:

“We can’t and we shouldn’t prohibit the sale of a pressure cooker. We can sensitize retail businesses to be on guard for suspicious behavior by those who buy this kind of stuff,” Mr. Johnson said during a question-and-answer session after a speech at the Council on Foreign Relations.

Is that person buying a pressure cooker a chef, person who cans food, or terrorist plotting to bomb the people you know and love? Don’t take chances, if you see somebody attempting to buy a pressure cooker call the police and allow them to interrogate the buyer.

Obviously the fine people at the DHS will have many more guidelines. But the bottom line is this: just because you have absolutely no security or counter-terrorism training doesn’t mean you can’t point the finger at random people and accuse them of wrongdoing. Fear best propagates when we believe everybody is out to get us so do you part by spreading fear of your customers.

Frightful Fear Day

That image should sufficiently piss a bunch of people off. Now that I’ve weeded out the easily offended it’s time for me to put forth a proposal. Every year on September 11^th we take time out of our busy schedule to remember those who died during the World Trade Center attack that happened on September 11^th, 2001. Shortly after the attacks people talked about the need to continue living our lives as we had been and not giving into the fear. Not too long after that the message changed. We were supposed to continue living our lives as we had been but we were also supposed to be scared of the terrorists. As is common the message of fear was precursor to war and we ended up going into both Afghanistan, a place the played a sizable role in the collapse of the Soviet Union, and Iraq, a place we had been to before and no actual justification for going there again. And that brings to my proposal. I hereby propose that 9/11 be named Fear Day.

My reason for this is simple. Every year on the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks our politicians begin talking about the need for Americans to fear somebody. This year it’s the Islamic State (IS), which Obama gave a prime time Two Minutes Hate against last night. And today people all across the country are going to find ways to overtly and tacitly connect the 9/11 attacks and the IS. Every one of those connections will be based on fear of what happened 13 years ago. Meaningless phrases such as “Never again!” and “Never forget!” will be parroted by those who have succumbed to the state’s fear mongering of the IS.

Since we’re subjected to this fear mongering every goddamned year I figured it’s high time to make an official holiday out of it. There’s a lot we could do to celebrate a holiday based on fear. For example, we could have an official Two Minutes Hate:

That would be fun! We could also have play a game where we each try to turn in as many of our neighbors as possible for suspicious activities. Not only would that game help instill fear but it would teach us to be ever vigilant. How about a tradition of going to our local police station and confessing the instances of wrongthink we’ve had over the last year? It would be a great way to help the police identify those who commit the most instances of wrongthink, which would help them keep a more watchful eye on potentially dangerous citizens. And no holiday would be complete without a parade! For the Fear Day parade local police departments could get out their armored personnel carriers, don their riot gear, and load up their rifles for a march the Soviet Union would be envious of:

Of course the police would be expected to load their grenade launchers with candy filled canisters so they can launch much coveted sweets into crowds of children!

Let me close this proposal but wishing you a frightening Fear Day! Now run along and spread the word!