Happy Blow Up Parliament Day

It seems fitting that the 5th of November occurs the day after our elections.

409 years ago a certain man was unhappy with the master that was ruling over him. He, like many of my friends today, wanted a different man’s boot pressing on his neck. And you know what? He actually tried to do something about it. While he, like many of the people who voted yesterday, didn’t get his desired result he still ended up remembered by people 409 years after the fact.

So the lesson for today is attempting to blow up parliament is much more productive than voting.

That Will Teach Him a Lesson

A woman wanted to teach her teenage son a lesson. Obviously you know where this is going. She talked to the dad and together they came up with a very clever plan that involved embarrassing their son slightly so he would learn to behave next time. Just kidding. What she actually did was plant a handgun into her son’s backpack and then reported him anonymously to the school:

A 28-year-old woman was sentenced Thursday to three years in prison for planting a pistol in a child’s backpack and anonymously reporting him to the school.

Heather Hodges, who pleaded guilty to unlawful carrying of a weapon on restricted premises in exchange for the dismissal of two lesser charges, was the live-in girlfriend of the boy’s father but they had struggled as a blended family.

Hodges wanted to teach 13-year-old James Bailey McKeegan a lesson for what she considered to be the mistreatment of her own children, ages seven and four.

So she took her boyfriend’s 9-millimeter Smith and Wesson handgun, replaced the child’s cologne and deodorant in his backpack, and then called Magnolia Junior High School from a nearby payphone to report him by name.

Yup, that sure taught him a lesson. Never trust a parental figure because they’re constantly plotting to get you into seriously trouble with the law. At least I’m assuming that was the lesson she was trying to teach the kid because I can’t see any other lesson that could have been taught from this exercise in stupidity.

Kudos go to the investigator for actually doing his job:

Retired MCSO investigator Mike Price said this was an important move, because of his experience as an interrogator, since it took multiple interviews to get Hodges to open up about what happened and her motives.

“It was very unusual,” Price said. “Initially, we wanted to know what was (McKeegan’s) intent with the pistol. Did he bring it to school to harm someone, or just to show to his friends? He kept insisting that he knew he brought a gun to school, but he didn’t realize it until the principal found the gun in his backpack. He was insistent.

“He was so consistent with his story and he came across so sincere, not just emotionally, but how he just stayed with his story and would not waver from it, that my position was that there’s something to this. I was the lone wolf at that point.”

Too many investigators would have crucified the kid regardless of his protests of innocence. Mike Price actually used his head and came to the conclusion that the kid was telling the truth. That kind of quality work is seldom witnessed this day and age and deserves to be acknowledge.

The Results are In

Well the results from last night’s election are in. Government won in every race and we all lost. Due to these results nothing meaningful will change. The homeless will still be stomped on by the state, our currency will continue to go down in value, good people will be locked in cages for possessing verboten substances, and people in the Middle East will continue to be bombed.

On the upside I got to sleep in yesterday morning because I didn’t play the state’s rigged game. So that was nice.

Man Arrested for Feeding the Homeless

The Fort Lauderdale police weren’t kidding when they said that they would arrest a man for feeding the homeless. Arnold Abbott, a 90 year-old man, and two of his cohorts are now facing two months in jail and a $500 fine because they had the audacity to feed those in need:

A 90-year-old man and two Christian ministers face up to 60 days in jail and a $500 fine after they were arrested for feeding the homeless in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Arnold Abbott, 90, was the first to be charged under a new city ordinance which virtually outlaws sharing food with the homeless in public. He says he was told to “Drop that plate immediately!” by an officer, as though he were holding a weapon.

“These are the poorest of the poor, they have nothing; they don’t have a roof over their heads. How do you turn them away?” Abbott said to the local KHON2 station.

Abbott has fed the homeless for over 20 years and heads Love Thy Neighbor, Inc. In 1999, he successfully sued the city when they tried to stop him feeding the homeless on the beach.

These are the people who should be celebrated as heroes in this country. In spite of the law they refused to back down from doing what is right. They are also proof that the phrase “law-abiding citizen” is a bunch of bullshit because the law and morality are not the same thing. If there is a site taking donations for their legal defense fund I would very much appreciate being told about it because these are the kind of people I want to support.

Controlling the Message

When the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) declared Ferguson, Missouri a no-fly zone I immediately thought it did so to suppress media coverage of police brutality. I’m cynical by nature so it’s nice to be surprised once in a while. But this isn’t one of those cases:

The FAA records official phone conversations at its air traffic facilities, a policy that is known to employees. The initial flight restrictions hindered planes from landing at Lambert-St. Louis International Airport unless they violated the no-fly order. The recordings show FAA officials seeking police agreement the next morning to change the designation of the restricted area to allow air traffic into Lambert and then struggling with the wording of the no-fly order in an effort to prevent media from entering of the restricted area.


Second Kansas City manager: “I went into the system and picked law enforcement … and of course it puts the one in that says nobody can be in there except the relief aircraft. …

Unidentified FAA employee: “Now what’s relief aircraft? …”

Manager: “It’s whoever the police want in there at that point when it’s a law enforcement one. The problem is, this is a very unusual situation … because normally these are, you know, a mile (radius) and 1,000 feet (in altitude), you know, to keep media out …”

FAA employee: “Hang on. Why are we even having that? Because, I mean, if it’s just for media, like you said, then why is it so big? And, otherwise, we thought that it might’ve been for them trying to take pot shots at somebody. You know anything about that or anything?”

Manager: “I was talking to Jim, the FLM (front-line manager) in the tower, and I was talking to Chris at St. Louis County Police. The commander at St. Louis County wanted 3 (nautical) miles and 8,000 feet and I talked him down to 3 and 5. They finally admitted it really was to keep the media out … but they were a little concerned of, obviously, anything else that could be going on.”

Manager, later in the same conversation: “I’d like you to talk to the tower and get the coordination going again with the police department. They did not care if you ran commercial traffic through this TFR (temporary flight restriction) all day long. They didn’t want media in there. … There’s no option for a TFR that says, you know, ‘OK, everybody but the media is OK.'”

This shouldn’t surprise anybody considering all of the other ways police in Ferguson were abusing reporters. It should, however, make you upset because it shows yet again how corrupt modern policing is and how little the so-called freedom of the press matters. As with most cases of police corruption the likely outcome of this mess will go without consequences for the police who were suppressing news coverage.

Feed the Homeless, Go to Jail

Fort Lauderdale decided that it wasn’t fighting hard enough in the war against the decided to change its strategy a bit by making it a jailable offense for many groups to feed homeless individuals:

The city of Fort Lauderdale last week passed an ordinance that effectively outlaws several humanitarian groups from feeding the homeless in public with a penalty of up to 60 days in jail. The law kicked in Friday, setting up a potential showdown between those groups and police.


Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jack Seiler said that is exactly what his city will do.

“Just because of media attention we don’t stop enforcing the law,” said Seiler. “We enforce the laws here in Fort Lauderdale.”

“So it’s fair to say if they break the law this weekend they will be arrested?” asked Norman.

“If they break the law and it’s observed by one of our law enforcement officers they are subject to arrest,” Seiler said.

On the upside one of the people who has been feeding the homeless, Micah Harris, said that he will continue to feed the homeless in spite of the damn law. It’s nice to know that there are people out there willing to give the state a gigantic middle finger. I only wish there were more.

Good Luck Today


It’s the fourth of November and the year is even, which means that the biennial ritual of master selection will take place. Dozens of people (it is a midterm election after all) are likely to line up in front of their polling places so they can have the privilege of making markings on a piece of paper that indicate whose boot they wish to be under. The master with the most votes gets to rule over the subjects of the land, at last the obedient ones.

I’m not a fan of making people unhappy so I hereby solemnly promise not to vote for the person you oppose. I only hope that you are happy with whatever master is stomping his boot on your face in the coming years.