The problem with kids today is that they never had to participate in the Krypteia.
Category: Humor
Sometime to Amuse You
Here’s something to amuse you, an opinion article written by a Transportation Security Agency (TSA) schmuck who thinks ordering people to throw away bottles of water and touching children is a tough job.
Though we’re just enforcing the rules that keep the public safe, most people treat us as the jerks who take away their nail clippers.
That’s because you are jerks who take away nail clippers.
The Hero We Need
Gun buybacks are not only improperly named (you can’t buy back something you never owned in the first place) but they’re also pointless. However, they’re often good for a few laughs. Take this wonderful woman for example:
One woman shows us the 9MM she is turning in for the Baltimore City Gun Buy Back program. But she says she is using the cash to get a bigger weapon! Story on FOX45 at 4pm. pic.twitter.com/LlmCbezpU7
— Kathleen Cairns (@CairnsKcairns) December 17, 2018
I love it when people blatantly mock government nonsense.
What’s Your Stance on the Second Amendment
Them: “What’s your stance on the Second Amendment?”
Me:
Intuitive Spell Checker
It turns out that the spell checker on my new laptop is really intuitive:
It also turns out that when you accidentally have Firefox’s spell checker language set to English (Malawi), hilarity ensues.
No Jury Will Convict Him
There are certain crimes that are justified by the circumstances under which they were perpetrated. This is one of them:
A scientist accused of attempted murder in Antarctica stabbed his colleague because “he was fed up with the man telling him the endings of books,” it has been claimed.
Scientific engineer Sergey Savitsky, 55, became enraged and stabbed welder Oleg Beloguzov, 52, with a kitchen knife.
It is believed to be the first time a man has been charged with attempted murder in Antarctica.
I doubt that there’s a jury on the planet that will convict him.
If You’re Going to Go, Go All Out
White smoke signals that the gender has been revealed.
Black smoke signals that the gender has not been revealed.
An off-duty border patrol agent wanted an explosive gender reveal party for his family and friends, but he ended up igniting a wildfire that spread to Coronado National Forest in Arizona.
Dennis Dickey, 37, of Tucson, Arizona, has to pay more than $8 million in restitution, starting with a $100,000 initial payment and monthly payments thereafter, the Department of Justice said in a statement.
Have You Registered
Fucking Parasite
A somewhat esoteric laugh courtesy of Egoistball.
All the Conveniences of Vegas
What do you do if you’re a Catholic who hasn’t been to confession in a while but need to get your sins absolved before the Pope’s scheduled visit? You head over to the drive-through confessional:
Now, with Pope Francis scheduled to visit Ireland this weekend, a different kind of massive structure has been built to welcome him: a drive-through confessional close to the same park, where Francis will celebrate Mass this weekend.
And here I thought that the religious conveniences of Vegas stopped at drive-through wedding chapels!