Category: Humor

Poroposed Assembler Opcodes

Obviously this is only going to apply to the truly geeky watching this and most of those people have already seen this but it’s still funny. Some of the opcodes I really like and would find useful:

BAC – BRANCH TO ALPHA CENTAURI

You never know when you’ll have to branch to data on Alpha Centauri. Heck I’d use this all the time.

CH – CREATE HAVOC

Regardless of what some people believe this instruction doesn’t actually exist in your computer.

CMD – COMPARE MEANINGLESS DATA

Hey look it’s Al Gore’s opcode!

DBZ – DIVIDE BY ZERO

This would solve a lot of crashes created by new programmers.

ECO – ELECTROCUTE COMPUTER OPERATOR

Oh if only I had this instruction available when people called me for computer help.

HCF – HALT AND CATCH FIRE

Good instruction for the truly paranoid out there.

MWAG – MAKE WILD-ASSED GUESS

Al Gore’s other beloved instruction.

UP – UNDERSTAND PROGRAM

If only that existed.

For those of you who aren’t computer geeks realize this is the type of humor that some of use laugh at. Yet I know it’s sad.

Best Meme Ever

There is a new gun blogger meme started by none other than Uncle:

The commercial should have ended with a guy in a big ass Ford Earthfuckertm that gets 5 miles per gallon with seats made from baby seals blowing past the roadblock billowing smoke. And, for effect, the driver flips them off. I’d buy that car. Not this little compliant pansy car. You appeal to Americans in an ad by showing rebellion and general orneriness. Not passiveness, compliance, or sheepishness.

Sadly I drive a Ford Ranger which hardly comes close to being an Earthfucker but I plan on moving up some day. It appears as though Random Nuclear Strikes has found somebody who does own an Earthfucker though.

Wrath, Rage, and Power Tools

OK there are some creativity points going out to Carolyn Paulsen-Riat. Her husband left her and she decided revenge was in order. But how could she do it? Well by rewiring his power tools to give him an electrical shock! From the article:

In the documents, deputies say the woman told them she had reversed the wires on his power tools because she was angry he was leaving.

I’m sorry but that’s funny and deliciously evil. Of course being this was an attack charges are in order:

Carolyn Paulsen-Riat was booked Friday into the Thurston County Jail for investigation of third-degree assault, domestic violence, and second-degree malicious mischief. A judge released the 33-year-old woman on her own recognizance.

Bad idea but certainly creative. I love it when psychos give me something to smile about in the morning.