Tag: Random Funny Shit

I’m Amused

As I read headlines today I’m very amused. Just as I expected both political parties are blaming the other for the shutdown and their respective followers are joining the fray. The Republicans and their followers are blaming Dayton and the Democrats for the shutdown because he walked out during the debate. On the other side of the arena the Democrats and their followers are blaming the Republicans because they refused to negotiate with Dayton on increases taxes.

Since I’m just glad the shutdown is happening I have nobody to blame so don’t mind me as I’m kicking back and sipping on a beer later this evening with a little smirk on my face.

Government is the Worst Girlfriend You’ve Ever Had

I think I’ve come across one of the best analogies for describing government ever written. Government is basically the worst girlfriend you’ve ever had:

Imagine, if you will: You’re a single guy who (a few years back) was in a terrible marriage with this overbearing foreign broad. She treated you like shit and tried to run every fucking aspect of your life. You were miserable. So one day, after trying everything to make it work, you finally decided enough’s enough, and served her with papers… She did not take it well. The divorce was messy, but in the end you basically got everything. You knew immediately you didn’t want another serious relationship, you’re too independent for that. You just needed something light… You needed a fuck-buddy.

As with many relationships that start off as friends with benefits government will start off as a convenience that eventually turns into a tyrannical bitch:

Bit by bit she started controlling every little piece of your life. She nagged you to get rid of the car you loved and buy something more “practical.” When you remodeled your bathroom she told you what kind of toilet, shower head, and water heater to buy (To make sure you still felt like a man, she let you make the final choice from a list of products that she liked… that manipulative bitch.) She did the same with the appliances in your kitchen, and quietly replaced all your light bulbs with the kind she preferred. Even though you resented it, you had better things to do than worry about interior decorating, so to avoid a fight, you gave in and did what she wanted.

Go read the entire thing, I think you’ll enjoy it.

Oops

It seems the Coalition to Stop Gun Ownership (Fucknuts) is having some problems with their Twitter account… namely it’s not there because they got their stupid asses banned. As you could see by my last post Fucknuts were “outing” gun bloggers by posting personal information. My life and identity are fairly public thus this didn’t concern me and I even tried helping them out by ensuring they posted about the correct Christopher Burg. Many gun bloggers like to have a semblance of anonymity and thus were none too happy with the shenanigans being pulled by Fucknuts.

Linoge took a few seconds to inform Twitter of the harassment being performed by Fucknuts and lo and behold their Twitter account went away. It seems Twitter isn’t very happy about the whole posting of private information thing. Too bad Fucknuts but it seems as though your attempt of winning through harassment isn’t nearly as successful as our winning through factual information.

I also would like to applaud Linoge’s method of dealing with these idiots. The e-mail he sent to Twitter was factual and to the point. Unlike the anti-gunners we pro-gun individuals prefer not to resort to lying to accomplish our goals.

EDIT: 2011-06-19 11:06: Corrected a couple of grammatical errors pointed out by my editor-in-chief Nicole.

My Sister is Awesome

So I posted the following on Facebook:

Now that Osama is dead dead does that mean we will finally get out of Afghanistan? I mean wasn’t he the reason we supposedly went there?

And the first reply I get is the following from my sister:

No, we gotta find Mecha-Osama now.

I wonder what our parents did that managed to raise two completely sarcastic asses.

Rand Paul Delivers a Political Bitch Slap to Donald Trump

I’m liking Rand Paul more and more every day. Today I must say I like him because he can really deliver an old fashioned politial bitch slap:

“I’ve come to New Hampshire today because I’m very concerned,” Paul said. “I want to see the original long-form certificate, with embossed seal, of Donald Trump’s Republican registration.”

“Seriously don’t you think we need to see that?” he said, adding that Trump had donated to Democrats such as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

Hilarious.

Meet the Glock Service Revolver

Holy shit, Glock apparently released a service revolver and the entire Internet missed it. From the article:

With the door locked and children in the next room, Bolin holds his former service revolver, a Glock 21, 45 acp.

Something isn’t quite right there but I can’t put my finger on it.

Quote of the Day

I don’t do quote of the day type posts often but this quote in reference to the War on Drugs was golden:

If the Government gave a fuck about being consistent… shouldn’t Marijuana be considered an endangered species at this point? Shouldn’t it be protected by the EPA? It’s amazing so many people are comfortable hunting that particular species to extinction… but when we at Absolute Despotism propose using the Navy to hunt sharks to extinction, or fire bombing the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Operation “Caribou Holocaust” we’re the assholes?

Kids Say The Damnedest Things

This is why you don’t let your kids overhear things:

Police officers in Austin, Texas, say they were questioning a woman about some outstanding warrants when she began acting suspicious — eventually prompting her 3-year-old son to ask if they had “found his mom’s weed,” MyFoxAustin.com reports.

I have nothing snide to add, this story is funny enough already.