Tag: United Police States of America

Wet Willies Now Felony Assault

Wet willies are a schoolyard prank that are likely older than schools themselves. As far as I know nobody has actually been injured, killed, or made ill as a result of a wet willy. But none of that matters because the rules in this country are made up and the punishments never match the crime. A Mankato man gave an officer a wet willy and is now facing felony assault charges:

A wet-willy has landed a man in trouble with police.

Police told our sister station in Mankato that 24-year-old Riley Swearingen put his pointer finger in an officer’s ear while waiting in line for a bus early Saturday morning.

Since it involved bodily fluids, police say it rises to the level of felony assault.

I’m surprised the officer didn’t simply stream “Office safety!” and gun the man down. I guess arresting him and charging him with felony assault does count as restraint in this wonderful police state of a country.

Bloomington Police Spying on Shoppers at Mall of America

The Mall of America is one of those places I try to avoid like the plague. I don’t like shopping in meatspace on the best of days so throwing me into a vast complex of clothing stores is basically torture. Combine that with mall security that does its best to make mall ninjutsu a real thing and you get a recipe for bad times. Now I have another reason to avoid that hellhole, the Bloomington police are spying on everybody who shops there:

License plate readers are cameras that capture your license plate information just driving by. They record the plate number, the date, time and location of your vehicle. The information is then checked against a “hot list,” which includes license plates of people suspected of various crimes.

At the meeting, law enforcement officials from St. Paul, Duluth, Mendota Heights and Ramsey County all said the technology has helped them solve crimes.

You can add Bloomington to the list too. In their case, they have an agreement with Mall of America. According to Bloomington Police Chief Jeff Potts, the mall is allowed to access the data, although they have yet to do so.

“It’s solely for the purposes of safety, security and traffic management. Not marketing, not other things that were discussed here just a few minutes ago,” Potts explained. “We’re just using these cameras to try to keep the mall safe. The scans, the license plates that we read, are bounced against a database of known vehicles that are either stolen, wanted persons, people with warrants.”

I like how the Mr. Potts first says that the scanners are meant to keep the mall safe and immediately admits that the scanned license plates are being bounced off of a database of wanted persons. Which of the following scenarios is likely to be safer? An individual with a warrant out for his arrest goes to the Mall of America and while there buys (or even steals) a shirt and grabs some lunch or an individual with a warrant out for his arrest goes tot he Mall of American and his license plate informs the Bloomington Police Department to gear up, head to the mall, and have a wild shootout with the suspect. I’m much rather see the latter since modern policing seems to be entirely unconcerned with innocent bystanders.

As the article says, license plates scanners are used throughout Minnesota to violate what little privacy we still have. Because of this it’s difficult to avoid a place simply because you don’t want some nosy police officer stalking you via their license plate scanners. But when a place I already don’t like to go to admits to using these devices it just gives me more reason to avoid it.

The Internet Thanks Police Officers

Apparently police apologists forgot about the fiasco that was #MyNYPD. Despite the backlash received for that attempted publicity stunt the 17th annual “Thanks a Police Office Day” went on. And not surprisingly the Internet responded:

Public ire spilled over once again yesterday, with the 17th annual “Thank a Police Officer Day” going about as well as the #MyNYPD hashtag campaign did back in April. The observance, conceived and promoted under the banner of lawyer Andrew M. Hale’s Whole Truth Project, is meant to further that group’s aim of combating negative assumptions about cops.

Instead, social media users took the opportunity to reinforce those unflattering stereotypes.

The article provides a lot of Twitter comments from people who are unhappy about the police state we live in. It’s no surprise that the backlash was pretty severe this year after the fiasco in Ferguson, Missouri. As modern policing becomes more and more adversarial it’s likely that publicity stunts like “Thanks a Police Officer Day” will garner more and more angry responses.

Another Suspect Managed to Materialize a Gun from the Back of a Squad Car

We have yet another incident of an individual being cuffed, frisked, and placed into the back of a squad car only to materializing a gun. Unlike the previous stories of this scenario the suspect didn’t “shoot himself” but aimed his gun at an officer, which forced that officer to shoot the suspect dead:

The Georgia Bureau of Investigation is investigating the officer-involved shooting that took place Thursday morning in West Savannah on Augusta Avenue, between Eagle Street and Cumming Street. The victim, Charles Smith, 29, was handcuffed behind his back and in the process of being arrested during the incident. The encounter was caught on video, according to GBI. An autopsy on Smith’s body will be done at the GBI Crime Lab in Savannah Friday.

“After being placed in the patrol car, Smith was able to move his hands to the front of his body and kick out the window of the patrol car. The officers said as Smith attempted to exit the patrol car they saw that he had a firearm. This encounter resulted in officer David Jannot, shooting and killing Smith at the scene,” according to GBI.

I’m sorry if I sound a little skeptical. How, exactly, are these suspects ending up in the back of cop cars with guns? With how often this situation seems to be happening you would think police officers would be extra diligent to make sure they do a thorough pat down of anybody they’re cuffing and detaining. That is, of course, assuming these situations aren’t just executions being performed by officers and written off as suicides or covered up by having a spare gun to drop at the scene. While I’m not normally one to buy into such theories easily the fact that these people have been detained and thrown into the back of cop cars makes the official stories sound pretty fishy.

For Being an Anit-Gun Paradise California Sure is a Militarized State

California is a hostile place to live if you’re a gun owner. The state is placed number one on the Brady Campaign’s State Score Card list [PDF], which is based on how many stupid gun control laws each state has on the books. You would think that a state so hostile to gun ownership would be a devoid of militarism. But that’s not the case. In fact California lays claim to the only be the only state that I’m aware of where school districts own armored personnel carriers:

News that San Diego Unified School District has acquired an MRAP, or mine-resistant ambush protected vehicle, is adding a new facet to discussions about the practice of giving surplus military equipment to civilian agencies.

The six-wheel Caiman MRAP has an official value of around $733,000. But the San Diego school district paid only about $5,000 to transport it, according to inewsource.org, a website that partners with NPR member station KPBS.

$5,000 could buy a lot of text books and that price doesn’t cover the yearly upkeep fees and cost to fuel the machine. Why did the district feel it was a good use of its money to buy an armored personnel carrier instead of equipment to better enable education? Probably because schools are more closely reflecting prisons every day and to complete the image districts need a way of rounding up truant students in the same way prisons round up escaped convicts. But San Diego doesn’t have the title of most militarized school district. That title belongs to the Los Angeles Unified School District:

os Angeles Unified school police officials said Tuesday that the department will relinquish some of the military weaponry it acquired through a federal program that furnishes local law enforcement with surplus equipment. The move comes as education and civil rights groups have called on the U.S. Department of Defense to halt the practice for schools.

The Los Angeles School Police Department, which serves the nation’s second-largest school system, will return three grenade launchers but intends to keep 61 rifles and a Mine Resistant Ambush Protected armored vehicle it received through the program.

An armored personnel carrier and surplus military rifles (later in the story it notes that the rifles were converted to semi-automatic)? Talk about rounding up students in style! But the district did return the grenade launchers, I guess it realized that most parties sent to round up convicts don’t usually bring heavy ordinance.

The San Diego district justified its purchase of the armored personnel carrier by saying it is for search and rescue and that the behemoth will be loaded with medical supplies. I guess the district has some policy against calling an ambulance, which is loaded with medical supplies and comes equipped with trained medical personnel. The Los Angeles district didn’t beat around the bush, it went straight for the school shooting scare excuse. Of course the Los Angeles Police Department was the first department in the country to have a Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) team and is well known for being extremely militarized already. Why the school district believes it needs its own team when it can call in the LAPD is beyond me, especially when you look at the statistics and see how rare school shootings actually are (which isn’t to say they don’t happen but the risk doesn’t warrant the establishment of a separate SWAT team for the district).

Truthfully these school districts are just following in the footsteps of police departments throughout the country. The federal government is giving away free or near free shit to local government agencies and those agencies are snapping it up like a shopper snapping up shit they weren’t going to buy until it they say that it was marked down for the store’s going out of business sale. In other words the government, by subsidizing the purchase of military equipment, has further distorted the market by making the military equipment look more appealing than shit local agencies could actually use (like, say, deescalation training for police officers).

Be Careful When Defending Your Home

I’m guessing, based on what I commonly write about, most of you reading this post have some kind of home defense plan. If you don’t waiting until somebody is kicking down your door at oh dark thirty probably isn’t the best time to develop one. But whether you already have a plan or are developing a plan make sure you keep one thing in mind: if the thugs kicking down your door at 05:30 unannounced are wearing a badge you may be killed even if you survive the initial ordeal:

Prosecutors will seek the death penalty against a man charged in the shooting death of a veteran Killeen police officer.

Marvin Louis Guy, 49, has been indicted for capital murder in the shooting death of police Detective Charles “Chuck” Dinwiddie, 47, and is named in indictments charging three counts of attempted capital murder, as well.

During a hearing Thursday, Bell County District Attorney Henry Garza said he’ll seek the death penalty.

The charges stem from a shooting, which occurred as officers served a so-called no-knock search warrant just after 5:30 a.m. May 9 at 1104 Circle M Dr. Apt. 3 in Killeen.

In other words you better have some good fucking night visions because you can’t safely assume that just because somebody is kicking down your door in the wee hours of the morning that you have a valid self-defense claim. If you fail to see those little badges and assume the invaders are non-state thugs and thus believe you can defend yourself you may very well end up facing the death penalty.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, after 12 rigorous hours of searching the home the police didn’t find any drugs.

The Double Standards of Police Dogs

It’s no secret that police officers love executing dogs. In fact officers murdering dogs has become so common that there’s a term for it: puppycide. What makes matters worse is that officers who shoot a dog seldom face any consequences. On the other hand if you shoot a police dog the wrath and fury of Hell itself will fall upon you. This is one of those fun double standards that are common in police states. Once you pin a badge to something it suddenly becomes more important than the commoners. But what happens when a badged creature kills another badged creature? What if a police dog is killed by a police officer due to that officer’s negligence? It’s a question many have probably wondered but now we know:

DUPLIN COUNTY, NC (WWAY) — A Duplin County Sheriff’s K-9 died last month after sitting in a hot squad car all night.

The sheriff disciplined Kela’s handler, but the punishment is not as harsh as some people think it should be.

“I just think it’s crazy, because they get on everyone else for leaving their animals in the car and dying, and they want to throw them in jail, but they can’t do nothing about their own officer that kills one of their K9s,” Duplin County resident Michael Foss said.

All badges are equal, but some badges are more equal than others. It seems that a police dog is a sworn officer unless it’s killed by a human police officer. So now we know that a badged dog is worth more than a commoner but a badged human is worth more than a badged dog.

Canadians Warned About Traveling Into the United Police States of America

Us Americans love bragging about living in the freest goddamn country on Earth. And woe is the poor son of a bitch who crosses a self-proclaimed patriot by saying the United States aren’t actually very free. But when you have people in neighboring countries warning their fellow citizens not to enter the United States with large amounts of cash less some police officer confiscates it using civil forfeiture laws, well, you can’t make too many claims about being a free country:

On its official website, the Canadian government informs its citizens that “there is no limit to the amount of money that you may legally take into or out of the United States.” Nonetheless, it adds, banking in the U.S. can be difficult for non-residents, so Canadians shouldn’t carry large amounts of cash.

That last bit is excellent advice, but for an entirely different reason than the one Ottawa cites.

There’s a shakedown going on in the U.S., and the perps are in uniform.

Across America, law enforcement officers — from federal agents to state troopers right down to sheriffs in one-street backwaters — are operating a vast, co-ordinated scheme to grab as much of the public’s cash as they can; “hand over fist,” to use the words of one police trainer.

The article then goes on to explain the scam, which everybody in this country should be aware of. Basically civil forfeiture laws allow an officer to confiscate any property that they claim to believe is tied to a drug crime. No charges have to be made against you for the office to take your shit and the burden of proving the property isn’t related to a drug crime is entirely on you. And since it’s impossible to prove with absolute certainty that your property isn’t tied to a drug crime you’re fucked.

The author of the article, Neil Macdonald, has some good advice for any Canadian traveling into the United Police States of America (and this advice is good to heed if you’re living here as well):

So, for any law-abiding Canadian thinking about an American road trip, here’s some non-official advice:

Avoid long chats if you’re pulled over. Answer questions politely and concisely, then persistently ask if you are free to go.

Don’t leave litter on the vehicle floor, especially energy drink cans.

Don’t use air or breath fresheners; they could be interpreted as an attempt to mask the smell of drugs.

Don’t be too talkative. Don’t be too quiet. Try not to wear expensive designer clothes. Don’t have tinted windows.

And for heaven’s sake, don’t consent to a search if you are carrying a big roll of legitimate cash.

As the Canadian government notes, there is no law against carrying it here or any legal limit on how much you can carry. But if you’re on an American roadway with a full wallet, in the eyes of thousands of cash-hungry cops you’re a rolling ATM.

Remember that the police are not your friends. Their job is to extort wealth from you. Treat them just like any other violent criminal. Give them a wide berth and if you have to interact with them say as little as you can and try to make the interaction as short as possible.

Some Things Never Go Out of Style

Thanks to the shitstorm in Ferguson, Missouri people are not noticing that the Department of War Defense has been giving and awful lot of military equipment to local law enforcers. I’m not sure why local law enforcers need armored personnel carriers and machine guns to write speeding tickets, parking citations, and other types of revenue generating fines but I’m at an even bigger loss to understand what local law enforcers are going to do with goddamned bayonets:

NPR recently published an in-depth report on the Department of Defense’s 1033 program, cataloging every military item sent to law enforcement agencies from 2006 through April 23, 2014. Vox pointed out the fact that the cache of weapons donated to local cops included 11,959 bayonets.

Maybe they need them to conserve ammo by stabbing family pets during no-knock raids. Perhaps local law enforcers have found that shooting family pets kills the poor creature too quickly so they want to option to affix bayonets so they can kill it in a way that prolongs the agony. Or local law enforcers may just want them because they think they make them appear more intimidating. Regardless I’m not sure what they’re going to do with fucking bayonets but I do know that it won’t be good for you or me.

Citizen Patrol Aimed at Defending Against Police Shootings

Neighborhood watch, as it currently exist in the United State, is a concept born of the rape and murder of Kitty Genovese. The watches were created in response to the lack of intervention from onlookers of the crime. Today there are still groups of individuals who patrol their neighborhoods in the hopes of preventing crime. But there is one crime most neighborhood watches fail to consider. Shooting by the largest violent gang operating in our neighborhoods, the police, often go unchallenged by neighborhood watches. A group of individuals in Dallas are looking to change that. They have established a neighborhood watch expressly for the purpose of protecting the people from the police:

A new group calling itself the Huey P. Newton Gun Club launched armed self-defense patrols Wednesday with one stated purpose: to protect Dallas neighbors from police.

Group leader Charles Goodson said recent unrest in Ferguson, Missouri over the killing of an unarmed black teen named Michael Brown by a white police officer is only part of the reason for the new Dallas patrols.

The group is named after Huey P. Newton, a founder of the Black Panther Party in the 1960s who was killed by a rival militant in 1989.

“We don’t think that what happened to Michael Brown in St. Louis is an isolated incident. We have so many Michael Browns here in the city of Dallas,” Goodson said.

Another leader, Huby Freeman, said the group wants to educate neighbors about the right to bear arms and the need for it.

“We believe we can police ourselves and bring security to our community, ridding our community of black-on-black crime, violence, police terror, etc., etc.,” Freeman said.

Police brutality is a major problem in this country and it’s nice to see people looking for a solution other than begging the state to be a little less vicious. It’s unfortunate but police officers are unlikely to face consequences for committing acts of murder. Even if evidence against an officer is damning it’s common for him or her to receive a paid vacation and then get reinstated once the media is no longer covering the event. Once in a great while an officer will get fired from the department but that’s a rare enough occurrence to almost be relegated for folklore.

Who watches the watchmen? In most cases nobody. But if this idea takes off there could be watchmen overseeing the watchmen and that could decrease police brutality. If nothing else it would be nice if there were neighborhood watches that would intervene when police officers decided to go all ‘roid rage on somebody.